Caged on the Inside
by ToniLOVESjolie
Summary: After Nat's sister goes missing she enlists the help of a club owner by the name of John McBain, she quickly learns that in order to find her sister she has to first find herself.. VERY HEAVY SEXUAL SITUATIONS, Uve Been Warned, ENJOY!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Natalie thumbed through the file before her, it had been one that kept her up now for two days, ever since the disappearance.. She pulled out the picture and held it, she fought the tears that threatened to fall even though her stomach twisted, she sighed heavily..

"Damn it Tess, where did you go this time" she spoke softly, anyone that would pass by would think she was just mumbling to herself, but her sister was missing again, but it wasn't Jessica this time, this time it was Tess, apparently up to her old tricks again..

Natalie was a twin even though her and Jess looked nothing alike, and surely didn't act alike, and this Tess, Jessica's alternate personality was nothing like Jess or Natalie for that matter..As much as Natalie loathed Tess for her reckless behavior and endangerment of Jessica, she also felt sorry for her, Tess was always on the run, always looking for love in all the wrong ways and now she was missing, which made Jessica missing which led to Natalie now sitting behind her desk at the Lanview PD looking at the file before her..

No one ever took Tess seriously so when she went missing it wasn't as if the police department put out an APB, she was a grown adult, sometimes grown adults take off but this was Natalie's sister and Tess or no Tess she had to find her, she had to before Tess got herself in trouble..

No one really knew how long Tess had been in control this time around, she was getting better at hiding it but the home life gave it away cause Tess was never one for settling down and being a homemaker like Jessica was..

Natalie sighed heavily as she put the picture down, this time was different then the others, Jessica had Bree now, and even though Tess was reckless and irresponsible she wouldn't of left Bree, this was unlike both of them, and she was the only one who saw that..

_"Jessica would not leave Bree behind, I know she wouldn't mom" she said to Vicki, her mother as she tried to find a clue, anything as to why she left.._

"But Tess would sweetheart, we should be lucky she didn't take Bree and run off"Vicki said softly as she glanced at a sleeping Bree in her crib, she was grateful the baby was left there, one less person to worry about..

"Tess loves Bree too and she wouldn't just leave, if anything she would of taken Bree just to spite us all" Natalie huffed in frustration, she knew how Tess was, she never missed an opportunity to piss off the Buchanan's, and leaving Bree was not her style..

"Tess wasn't ready to be a mom, parenthood frightened her cause of her own past" Vicki began, always trying to have an answer for everything..

Natalie glanced back down at the file, maybe Vicki was right, maybe she was wasting her time looking for someone who didn't want to be found, but then what about Bree, does she just grow up with out a mom, even though in this circumstance it may be safer and less chaotic for the baby girl..

When Natalie became a police officer she never had this in mind, never thought that she would be staring at pictures of her missing sister, a knock on the door got her attention and she quickly closed the file, the last thing she needed was Bo getting on her case again about searching for Jess/Tess, she hated that her family seemed to be happy that she was gone, or maybe they were just relieved that Bree was safe, either way none of it settled right with Natalie..

Bo peeked his head inside.."You got a minute Natalie"

"Sure Uncle Bo, come on in" she suddenly felt self conscious of the mess around her and began straightening things up.."whats up?"

"You don't need to clean on my behalf, it just shows how you really take your job seriously" he smiled genuinely and she returned it, Her uncle Bo was the only one here at the station that had faith in her that she would make it through the Police Academy, he pushed her, treated her like the others even though she was his niece, he respected her, she was grateful for that especially since she felt she had to work harder then the rest of the officers just to prove she wasn't getting the easy road..

Working harder meant less sleep, more coffee, more cases, all of which were slowly wearing a toll on her young 25 yr old body, not that she didn't look amazing and drew attention to herself all the time from the bright red hair and blue eyes, but when she looked in the mirror sometimes she didn't even recognize herself, she was now a former shell of her normally positive self, she didn't go out often, she kept mainly to herself and the last time she had any kind of a boyfriend, well that was Christian Vega and that was a long time ago, her work had gotten in the way and he had enough..

The breakup with Christian had been one that weighed heavy on her, especially since he had quickly found himself a new girlfriend, a sweet girl too, one who wasn't a police detective, one who could tend to his needs..

_"I just don't see how were going to do this Nat" Cris said with sadness in his voice as he stood in her office.._

"Let me just get done with this case OK...its just taking a lot of my time" she sighed as she looked down at the folder that held a picture of Tina Chambers, age 21 brutally raped and murdered, her killer still on the loose, how could he expect Natalie to do anything but find justice for this young girl who was taken too soon..

"and then what Nat" he put his hand on top of the file she had been eying, she looked up at him now.."it will be another case, it always is" she saw a look in his eye, it made her stomach twist even though her features stayed stone like..

"what are you saying Cris" her voice remained calm but even as she spoke those words she knew what was coming, and part of her wanted to jump and grab him, hug him, promise him that everything would be OK, they would be OK, she couldn't, she looked away..

"I'm saying that I love you Natalie, I do, that will never change, but this.." he began looking around her disheveled office, the one that seemed to eerily coincide with the appearance of her life.."this will always take first priority in your life" his voice held emotion, his eyes held tears, she just stared forward, for two years they dated, for two years they were happy, why now?

"Cris I have a responsibility to uphold" she decided to take the politically correct road and he smiled some but it wasn't a happy smile, it was a sad smile, he touched her hand..

"Your a wonderful detective Nat...and you will continue to be a wonderful detective, you will bring justice to those who deserve it, I just cant" he removed his hand, his eyes glancing at the ceiling.

"cant we talk about this tonight Cris" she said quickly, she knew she was pulling at limbs here but she honestly didn't want to continue this here and now, in her office, she knew where this was heading and she was sure that if she had time, time to think this through she could make it work..

"Natalie I met someone" he met her eyes now and she felt a stab to her chest, but again her features did not show it..."I'm sorry" he looked down, ashamed, Natalie felt her heart race, she couldn't talk, for once she was speechless..."I just...i need more then you can give me" he began and instead of letting her emotions get to her, instead of feeling what he was saying, she stood, quickly..

"Cris I got work to do" she said coldly and he reached out for her, she backed up, her arms crossed protectively over the heart he had just crushed..

"Please don't do this Natalie, we were friends before, I was hoping" he began and she cut him off..

"That's fine, were friends still, now if you don't mind" she stood her ground and he sighed heavy and then spun around..

"I really am sorry Natalie" he said as he left..

Natalie glanced up at her Uncle who was now going on and on, she hadn't been paying much attention but the last words he said got her attention, it was about Tess and a club..

"what club?" Natalie asked quickly, pen and paper ready..

"Listen this could be nothing so don't get your hopes up" Bo began as he gave her the address.."Its right outside Lanview, there was a credit card purchase, I think its a night club or a bar"

Natalie grabbed her keys and stood quickly but Bo put his hand out, touching her arm.."I hate to see you like this Natalie, you need to get some sleep"

"I will sleep when I know Jess is OK" she stated blatantly, Bo knew how much this was driving her crazy, hence him helping her out even though her family had been so against it..

"Jessica is very lucky to have a sister like you" Bo said sincerely and Natalie just nodded as she took off in search of this place, the place called The Underground..

The address was a familiar one, she knew that part of town right outside Lanview, it was full of bars, clubs, strip joints, a hang out for many of the local residents of Lanview, a place she could definitely see Tess traveling off too, if there was alcohol involved she knew Tess would be there..

She knew that by the time she got to this club Tess would of already been gone, she never stayed in one place too long but it may just be what she needs to find Tess's next destination..It had been awhile since Tess had gotten control, after the intergration everyone was sure things would be fine but it would seem that Jessica was just getting better at hiding the truth..

It hurt Natalie that Jessica wouldn't confide in her that something was wrong, granted they weren't incredibly close but they were still twins, they still shared a bond..

She pulled down the dirt road and glanced at a large brick building as she glanced at the address in her hand again, a tiny sign on the side of the building read DETOUR and it pointed at at a large metal door, it surely didn't look like a club from the outside she thought to herself as she rechecked the address again, this was definitely it, she got out of her car, her black heels immediately sticking into the soft dirt below, she huffed, they were new, they went perfectly with the black and white pin stripe suit she now wore, leave it up to Tess to make sure her shoes would be ruined, she huffed as she walked carefully and slowly across the dirt, groaning as her heels became dirty..

As she neared the large metal door she could hear faint music inside, she stopped for a second, looking around her then back at the door but it began to open, she stepped aside, her heels digging in deeper in the ground as the door swung open and she was immediately hit with the loud music, and a young couple walking out, they stopped for a second, looking at her..

"what are you looking at?" the guy spit out and that's when she noticed her eyes had to be as wide as can be, her mouth slightly agape as she took in their sight, as they seemed to do to her as well..

"Nothing" she looked away, her heart racing, the couple had been dressed in all black, leather to be exact, maybe in their late twenties, it wasn't their clothes that caught her off guard, it was the collar around the girls neck, the leash that hung from it and was held tightly in the mans hand, and the look that both had in their eyes, it chilled her spine..

"Its rude to stare" the man said defensively and she didn't know what to say, this had to be one of the new age goth clubs, she had heard about them.."Unless your giving me an invitation" the guy grinned and she immediately backed up, her back hitting something hard, she knew right away it wasn't a wall but another person, a large person..

"Dylan don't scare the guests" a husky voice laughed from him her and she jumped spinning around.."don't worry sweetheart he is harmless, wouldn't hurt a fly" the grin on his face was telling as Dylan began to laugh, they seemed to share some inside joke that was completely lost on Natalie..

The man before her was tall, at least 6 foot to her petite 5'2, he was shirtless, his chest definitely belonged to someone who took care of themselves, a tattoo on the upper right quadrant of his chest, right above his nipple, it was some Chinese symbols, he wore a pair of black slacks, had to be Armani as well as black boots underneath, his hair was long, somewhat matted and sweaty like the beads of sweat on his chest, she caught his eyes, he smiled, they were blue, dark blue, the kind of eyes you could get lost in..She realized she was staring, she became flushed, embarrassed, what the hell was this place..She turned her eyes from him quickly, clutching the piece of paper in her hand..

"Don't stop looking on my account, Dylan has just had a rough night, he normally isnt so rude" he smirked, she felt steam rising from him, his stare was intense as he looked at her, she had to get herself together, she straightened her stature..

"I'm sorry I think I may be in the wrong place" she began and he walked around her, taking in her appearance as he looked her up and down, she had never felt so self conscious in her life..

"actually I think you are exactly where your suppose to be" his voice went through her and she flushed some more, she did the first thing she could think of, she whipped out her badge from her back pocket..

"Sir I am Detective Buchanan and I have a few questions for you" she immediately went into professional mode cause it was a lot better then being open and vulnerable..

A smile curved his lips, he crossed his arms over his large chest, making his shoulders seem huge, he was now blocking the entrance of the door.."an officer of the law...what do I owe the honor?... come in side..." he began walking in and she stood for a second, almost scared to see what lies on the other side of this door, she already had her suspicions after seeing Dylan but she pushed her fear aside and stepped in, immediately being taken back not only by the grandeur of it all but the many devices all around her.."can I get you a drink officer?"

"No" she stated quickly as she looked around, this place was insane, definitely not a club she had ever been in, she didn't even know if it could be labeled a club, thankfully it was empty at the moment cause with the numerous chains on the walls, swings hanging from the ceiling, a few tables with straps on them in the room and doors leading off to god knows where she could only imagine what it was like when it was filled..

"I take it this is not what you were expecting when you came here" he was smirking again, he was getting a thrill out of this, she straightened her demeanor quickly as he leaned against one of the tables, a drink in hand as he looked at her.."I'm sorry I should of properly introduced myself" he put his hand out to her.."My name is John McBain and this is my world" she quickly shook his hand, pulling it back fast, he was intimidating her and that didn't happen often..

"Well Mr. McBain" she began and he cut her off..

"Call me John,...and can I call you" he began and she cut him off..

"You can call me Detective Buchanan" she stated quickly, he smiled again...

"OK then, Detective Buchanan, what can I do for you today" he leaned back on the table and she fidgeted some as her eyes looked all around her, she pulled out a picture of Jess..

"Have you seen this woman" even as she said those words she couldn't believe that Jess or Tess for that matter would be here, in a place like this, it was a bit extreme even for Tess..

John took the picture, glanced at it for a second.."Nope"

"Mr. McBain I really need you to take a better look at this picture" she began and he sipped his drink nonchalantly..

"ive never seen her" he began but she knew he was lying, if anything she had learned over the years of being an officer of the law it was being able to see if someone was telling the truth..

"i have a credit card receipt that says different" she snapped at him, she didn't like that he was enjoying making her feel uncomfortable..

He seemed to ponder her words, he began walking around.."You know Detective unless im under arrest for something illegal or under investigation, I really don't like to speak of clientele, people come here to escape their everyday lives, to unwind, to be themselves, I owe it to them and to myself to keep strict confidentiality rules"

"I don't like games Mr. Mcbain, this is official police business" she began quickly and he spun to meet her eyes, he looked angry now..

"I told you to call me John and I said I haven't ever seen that woman"he stated loudly, he was hiding something, she could feel it..

"fine, im not getting anywhere with you" she spun around.." I will just have to get a search warrant for this place and send someone to bring you down for questioning" she began..

"is she dead" he called out and Natalie felt her blood go cold at his words, she stopped by the door...

"I would hope not for your sake" she began as she heard him walking over to her.."are you sure you haven't seen her" she turned and held the picture up again for him, he grabbed it this time and began walking with it..

"Now that I come to think of it , yes...i remember her" he said quickly and Natalie looked at him.."But I haven't seen her in days, she was alive and happy"

"was she participating in" Natalie looked around and he handed her back the picture, she didn't finish her sentence, she didn't have to, he did it for her..

"participating in games, lessons, discipline?" he raised an eyebrow at her..."You said Detective Buchanan right?"

"Mr. McBain im really not in the mood for games, this woman has gone missing and the last place she was known to be was in your... your establishment" she still was in shock that Tess would be there...

"as in Buchanan Enterprise, and police Commissioner Buchanan?" he asked sarcastically, she didn't answer.."well I take it this isn't official police business cause you would have had cops all over the place by now, this is something personal, tell me Detective, who is this woman to you?"

Natalie felt the uncomfortable feeling hit her again as she looked at him and spun around, she wasn't going to play into his hand.."When your ready to stop playing games Mr. McBain you can find me at the station" she snapped..

"detective...just answer my question" he yelled from across the room as Natalie walked out the door and immediately to her car, she had to get out of there, there had to be another way to find out information about Tess, one that didn't require her going into any more clubs like that one..

Natalie thought about telling Bo of her discovery but she opted to keep it to herself for now cause this was a conversation she definitely didn't feel like having with him, or any of her other family for that matter, she called in for the rest of the day, after the encounter she just had what she really needed was a drink, so off to Rodi's she headed..

Natalie sat in Rodi's a beer in front of her, her laptop opened as she began searching bondage clubs online, she had to get herself familiar with this cause next time she saw John McBain she would be prepared, and she knew there would be another time, what she wasn't expecting was that it would be so soon..

"they say curiosity killed the cat" she heard that raspy voice behind her, she froze for a second then spun her head around, there were those damn blue eyes again, she slammed her laptop closed.."please don't stop on my account, your curiosity intrigues me" he grinned..

"I'm sorry Mr Mcbain but what are you doing here" she said with a hint of anger in her voice, it hid the embarrassment she felt for being caught looking at those websites, he scooted into the booth in front of her..

"I did what you said, I went to the station, someone told me I could find you here" he looked around at the place then back at her..

"Listen unless your ready to start talking" she began to stand up, he made her feel uncomfortable, he stood too, towering over her..

"I think you too need to relax, are you always this tense" he began and she rolled her eyes at him and reached for her laptop..

"This missing woman really has you worked up" he put his hand on her laptop and she yanked it from under him..

"that missing woman is my sister" she snapped and his eyes got wide with curiosity.."I thought I would get some answers from you but I was wrong" she spun herself away from him, he reached out and touched her shoulder..

"OK OK..im ready to talk" he said quickly and she looked at him, trying to read him.."at least let me have a drink with you"

"fine" she huffed and he called over one of the bartenders and ordered himself a drink, she took the opportunity to take in his appearance, he was fully dressed not with a blue silk button down shirt, his hair was washed and combed, still hanging by his face, his cologne tickled her nose, he smelt good, she looked away and sat back down..

"so do you always sit here alone?" he sat down now with a drink in his hand, it looked like scotch, he nursed it slowly..

"Mr McBain, this is not how this works, I ask the questions" she stated firmly, he smiled..

"You have a bit of control issues I see" he grinned..

"I'm doing my job Sir" she snapped, who the hell did he think he was..

"sir? hmmmm, now I definitely like that" he smirked and she felt her body flush, she fidgeted in her seat uncomfortably.."I'm sorry, I make you uncomfortable, this is an important matter"

"Yes it is and don't flatter yourself Mr. Mcbain, you don't make me uncomfortable" she snapped quickly and he leaned back some as he looked at her..

"I can see why your here alone" he smiled as he sipped his drink..

"Excuse me?" she said with shock at his words, was he insulting her?

"Don't get all upset now, detective... its not a bad thing, I too find myself being a loner" she heard truth in his words but it didn't change anything, he still wasn't talking about the matter at hand..

"do you have something to say about my sister or not" she snapped and he sighed.."I don't have time for this"

"Oh I am sure you do, cause like you said she was at my establishment, you don't get out often do you, you don't sleep well either, your cases keep you up at night detective?" he looked at her in such a way that she shuddered slightly..

"I'm sorry but who are you, you don't know me" she stood up quickly, he did as well..

"OK im sorry Detective... lets try this again, I let my curiosity get the best of me...sit ….please, I will tell you what I know about your sister"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Natalie looked at John as he sat across from her, he was nursing his drink again, slowly, she was losing her patience, he apparently saw this, he leaned across the table..

"ask me what you want to know" he said as he looked at her, and she pondered that for a second, she actually had a lot of questions but she would keep to the ones pertaining to her sister..

"when was the last time you saw her, who was she with, and what was she really doing at your club?" it all came out so fast that she too had to take a drink to parch her drying throat, or perhaps it was just the subject matter at hand..

"about two days ago, she was with her Master, and she was playing her part at my club" he said smoothly, Natalie swallowed hard as she looked at him..

"Her Master? Your kidding, right?" she laughed some, but he did not, this was Jess or better yet Tess they were talking about, a Master? Yeah ok..

"Do you have a problem with that?" his tone was serious now as he looked at her..

"Ok...My sister was with her Master at your club" she put her fingers in quotations as she spoke, this was ridiculous, she couldnt believe it, not for one second, she looked around quick to make sure no one else was hearing this insane conversation..

"Your not very much fun, are you?" he leaned back as he looked at her, she cocked her head at him.."Or maybe its just been so long since you have been able to unwind" he seemed to think about what he was saying..

"Im sorry, what? My sister is missing Mr., my family is upset!" she snapped at him but kept her voice at a relatively low volume, his eyes got wide..

"If your family was so worried about her well being im sure that your uncle would have the entire police department out looking for her, you seem to be the only one who is worried, why is that, are you jealous that she is out enjoying her life, that she is able to embrace who she really is" his tone began to piss her off..

"who she really is? Are you kidding" she laughed sarcastically.."My sister is sick, she is sick, she has a family and she needs to be home taking care of her responsibility not out acting like a god damn fool!"

He got up slowly but with such a look on his face, he leaned over the table as she tried to regain her composure.."Just because you are too scared to let doesnt make my clientele fools, just cause your too scared to leave your little protective bubble doesnt make my club a joke, just case you flash around a badge and carry the name Buchanan doesnt make you some holier than thou person, I can see this conversation is over, maybe you should really stop worrying about your sister and start worry about yourself detective cause the only one I see acting like a fool here is you" he spun around and headed for the door, she was stunned by his words, mad as hell, she quickly got up as he got outside, she ran out there..

"who the hell do you think you are!" she yelled and he stopped.."You know nothing about me, you know nothing about my sister"

"On the contrary Detective, you know nothing about your sister cause your too worried about keeping up the family name but for whom? No one else is looking for her, I think it irks you that she is able to live her life the way she wants and you cant get out of the shackles that society has put on you" his voice remained calm as he spoke..

"What a waste of my time" she snapped and spun around, heading towards her car..

"i think you cant handle the truth, you would rather just run away like you always do" he called out and she shook her head as she kept walking, he was out of his mind.." when your ready to be reasonable you will know where to find me" she flipped him the bird as she kept walking, what an arrogant, self absorbing piece of crap, she thought as she got into her car and drove off as he stood there a smile on his face..

Natalie made it home in a hurry, she was fuming, how dare he try and tell her she knew nothing about Jess, they were twins, granted they werent very close and her and Tess just butted heads but this was her family, her sister, she knew her, she did!

The one thing she didnt know about or understand was this whole idea of his club, a bondage club, she would find out what she had to, she would use it to her advantage and she would find Jessica and bring her home but she also wanted to learn more about this Mcbain guy and she knew just the person to help her, she grabbed her phone and dialed quick, it began to ring and quickly someone answered..

"County morgue you kill em we chill em" her brother said in a overtly jolly tone and she couldnt help but laugh..

"getting kind of old dont you think Rex" she loved him, her brother, he was a bit out there at times but he had a good heart..

Rex was a private investigator, he had been running a small business for a few years now, after the death of their supposed mother Roxy he started getting interested in helping others, he started off working for random people, spying on spouses and boyfriends, girlfriends even but now he was getting bigger, working for companies, checking on their workers comp employees, he was definitely making a name for himself, he was becoming known..

He made her proud especially since he use to get into so much trouble as a kid, now at the age of 21 he was a great guy, he had a great girlfriend who Natalie was fond of, her name was Gigi, they were happy and Natalie was happy for them, if there was anyone in this world that natalie knew she could always rely on it was Rex, he was her shoulder, he always had been..

"Did it make you smile?" she couldnt disagree to that, it always did as cheesy as it was..

"Ok ok you win" she smiled as she began to make her way inside her apartment..

"so what do I owe the honor Detective? Got something juicy for me"

"tess is at it again" she sighed heavily..

"Damn didnt they cage her up or something" he laughed, he always found humor in the dysfunction of the Buchanan's, it went to show that no matter how much money a person has, every family has a little bit of crazy in it..

"yeah well sort of... but thats not really what I need help with" she began and the realization of what she said hit him..

"is Bree ok?" he asked with concern, he never did get along with Jess or Tess but he loved little Bree, everyone did, Natalie knew that one day rex would make a wonderful father..

"Oh yeah, she left her" Natalie said solemnly..

"well thank god for small favors, ever just think about not doing anything, just letting things be, I mean , come on Nat she causes more trouble then anything" she knew Rex was right but hell Natalie felt like she was the only one in this girls corner, and she knew what it felt like to feel all alone, she couldnt bear to watch her sister have that happen to her..

"We may not be close Rex but she is my sister, I just cant sit back and do nothing, it really sucks cause no one seems to care about her, all they care about is Bree" she sighed..

"Kind of odd that she didnt take Bree, I mean Tess would of loved to take Bree and skip town"

"exactly what I am saying, Im worried Rex, im worried something may of happened to her" the idea of something horrific had been circling through her mind for days and it only got amplified when she went to the Underground.."Bo gave me some information today, she made a credit card purchase at a place called the Underground"

"Yikes...you sure?" Rex said with such a tone it made natalie curious..

"You know of that place?"

"Do I,...wow Nat , I had to follow a husband there back in the day, I advise you to stay away"

"Too late, went there today...i cant even believe places like that are legal" she huffed as she thought to the inside of the place, she began typing on her laptop, bondage websites..

"Man I would of loved to see your face" rex laughed...

"yeah im sure...it was...ummm... priceless to say the least, but thats what I wanted to ask you about, the guy who runs the place" she began, Rex cut her off..

"John McBain..." he finished for her, curiosity hit her more..

"You know him?"

"well not technically, when I was tailing a suspected cheating husband around and I found him at the underground, well I kind of had a run in with Mcbain, and well you know"

"You did a background on him"

"I had to, there was just something weird about him, not like he was bad just strange"

"Stranger then the fact that he runs a dungeon on the outside of town" Natalie said sarcastically..

"Well that and well... anywho... it turns out he is ex FBI, he was with the government for 10 years, his wife and daughter were murdered, tragic really and he got out quick, was quiet for a year or so then he started the underground, the guy has apparent emotional problems, but can you blame him" Natalie listened to his words, she almost felt bad for mcbain, it must have been horrible to have his family murdered but he was ex FBI, that she hadnt guessed..

"wow... I guess that kind of answers a lot of my questions" she said quietly..

"so Tess has found a new outlet huh, cant say I am surprised, she always seemed like a freak" Rex laughed and Natalie sighed.."sorry Nat, I know your upset"

"Yeah well I just dont know what to do but im gonna figure it out" she finished off the rest of her conversation with him and got off the phone, her eyes on the website in front of her, bondage, she began to read further..

**BDSM does NOT have to be anything like what you have imagined! Playful bondage – the kind that will be discussed here – can and IS an EXTREMELY pleasurable experience for both partners – and can heighten the arousal to levels not previously attained – and all without pain!**

B – stands for Bondage  
D – stands for Discipline  
S - stands for Submission  
M – stands for Masochism

The elements when put all together basically mean: being restrained, dominated and made to submit to your partner's demands (and being disciplined when you don't) and deriving sexual pleasure from the infliction of differing levels of pain. 

Natalie felt her interest get peaked as she read further, she had never looked at anything like this before, but some of it wasnt unfamiliar, she wasnt a stranger to the occasional spankings during sex, well when she was actually having sex, and being restrained, her and Cris had dabbled in some of that, but she never saw it as BDSM more like rough sex, she was intrigued now, apparently a lot of people these days were taking time out of their hectic, stress filled lives to unwind with a little BDSM.

She could see now why Tess would be getting into this lifestyle, it was her outlet, her way to express herself, the way she could separate herself from Jess, something just for herself..

Natalie read on...

**GROUND RULES**

When dealing with Bondage play it is essential to have some basic ground rules. I always suggest that the couple sit down in a non-sexual situation and discuss where their comfort zone is. Perhaps go through a checklist to ensure that you are both on the same page.

*Discuss how you are willing to be tied (i.e. only arms, no legs); maybe you want to pretend to be tied initially ("inhibited movement play") to see if you like to be restricted.

*Discuss what you are willing to have done in your impaired position – i.e. you can kiss me, touch me, but please let me free to have sex.

*Discuss what sensations you absolutely hate or make you uncomfortable – i.e. I don't like ice on my clit, don't want to have sex toys used on me, don't want my penis tied with anything.

*Discuss what would really make you uncomfortable in general – i.e. don't leave the room while I am tied.

SAFETY

Bondage communities have two safety terms they use: SSC (safe, sane and consensual) and RACK (risk aware consensual kink). These terms mean that you should always have CONSENSUAL play with your partner, you should NEVER BE IMPAIRED and you should be safe with your play.

In order to be safe, you should agree upon a safe word to use in the event that one of you feels uncomfortable. This word should be something unusual that you wouldn't say otherwise – like "groundhog."

Getting the "rules" of play established not only makes you more at ease that nothing bad will happen, but it gets you more excited about what is going to happen while you play.

Natalie felt her cheeks begin to get flushed as she red, she felt something she hadnt felt in a while, she felt excitement, it was something different then her ordinary life, then she thought back to McBain, he lived this 24/7, she shook her head at the idea, now that was just insane, she closed her lap top quickly, she had read enough for tonight, she had a better understanding now, and she was ready to have a real conversation with the one man who may just know her sister better then she did, John McBain..

Meanwhile back at the underground John sat in his plush office, it had been a long day, he had gotten a few random hours of sleep but these days he was lucky if he got that, he sat in his large leather chair, feet kicked up on his desk as he sipped on his scotch, a picture on his laptop screen, a picture of a familiar red head, her name Natalie Buchanan..

Below her name read her birth date, address, basically an entire background check on her, he was thankful to still have his FBI connections even after all this time, she intrigued him and that wasnt an easy thing to do, he remembered her sister, the one who she claimed was missing but he knew better, she had gone off with Logan, a Dom who use to frequent the underground, a Dom looking for the same thing Tess was looking for, someone to love..

He began to read into her Police background, she was a good detective, determined and outspoken that was for sure, she took on a lot of emotionally charged cases dealing with rape, suicide, murder, a lot of them of young women like herself, he felt as if she was trying to save the world, he had felt that way once, but that was a long time ago, in the past, his future was much more different now, this future was about him and only him, he slammed back the rest of his drink, memories were best kept in the past, he had a busy night ahead of him, he closed his laptop and began to get ready..

Natalie found herself staring up at the large brick building from inside her car, she didnt even know why she had come there cause sitting in her car now it seemed like a very bad idea, not only was her heart racing but her hands were shaking slightly as she held onto the steering wheel, she hated to admit it but she needed his help, he was the last one to see Tess, she had no one else to turn to but to head inside, she couldnt do it..

The parking lot was full now, cars parked outside, loud music was heard emanating from the walls, she could only imagine what she would see behind those doors, she didnt think she could handle it but she sucked it up, she was Natalie Buchanan for god sake, she was a strong independent woman who could handle anything, she was a cop damn it, she opened her car door quickly and jumped out, glad this time as her sneakers hit the ground, she looked at her own get up, worn jeans and a tshirt, she knew she wouldnt fit in but hell it was better then what half of these people were wearing which was nothing, she had watched a few of them walk inside, she had to turn her head at times so she wouldnt gawk at them, but she was truly shocked, people actually took this crap seriously, she took a deep breath and headed to the large door..

John moved around his club, helping to get those who needed his help situated, it was a busy night, the place was packed, he made a bit of small talk as he walked around..

"Hey...John...got a sec" one of the fellow Doms named Brian called out as he whispered something to the girl he was with and she sat on the ground, bowing her head as he walked over to John, they met half way..

"hey whats up,... I see you got yourself a fresh one" John grinned as he glanced at the young woman on the floor..

"well you know" Brian smirked proudly.."speaking of fresh ones, you may want to check out in the parking lot, there was a girl sitting in her car, kind of looked suspicious"

"A girl?... Suspicious?...what does she look like" John said as his curiosity was peaked, Brian ran a hand through his short spiky hair..

"Its dark, cant tell but she has got dark red hair, I saw that" he began and John grinned, he knew she would be back, he didnt allow Brian to finish as he patted him on the shoulder..

"Enjoy your night Brian,...i will take care of this" John strutted towards the door, immediately opening it as he saw the back of her head, she was turning away to leave.."You know we do have to keep meeting like this Detective or shall I just call you natalie, your not really on duty now are you" he grinned as natalie spun around, a bit shocked to yet again see him standing there..

Natalie straightened out her appearance, she could do this.." I seem to need your help" she spit out quickly and as professionally as she could, he smiled and leaned his hand up against the door..

"well how about this, how about we get on a first name basis and I will see what I can do" he raised his eyebrow at her and stuck his hand out.."Hi my name is John and you are?" he grinned and she sucked in a deep breath and met his hand with hers..

"Nice to meet you John, im Natalie" she faked a smile as she bit her tongue.. 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Natalie made her way inside with John, she had told herself to just keep staring forward and maybe she could breeze by without seeing anything but once they stepped in she was immediately hit with naked flesh, loud music and sounds she wasnt sure what they were, she could only think to compare what she was feeling at that moment to a young teenager being caught looking at porn by their parents, she was beyond mortified, what was going on in this place was suppose to be private and intimate or at least thats what she always thought but seeing all these people now, it was like being the fly on the wall..

Her eyes glanced to the right, a woman chained to the wall, her hands above her head shackled as well as her legs spread and ankles cuffed as a masked man dressed in black leather pants, a leather vest held a tasseled whip in front of her...

She looked to the left quickly not any better, a woman in a position that looked more fit for yoga as she was on her knees, head down, bare ass up in the air again shackled to the table, hot wax being poured on her back by a long haired man who immediately made eye contact with Natalie, a grin on his face..

She looked up and almost laughed as a woman hung bound to ropes, her body twisted and writhing, she hadnt even noticed John stopped walking, it wasnt until she banged right into his back...

"ummph" she gasped as he opened a door and she thought about just pushing him aside and running in, she was relieved that the room was an office, a normal every day office with a large mahogany desk, black leather chair and a long black leather couch off to the  
side, even a small fridge was in there, she was thankful when he closed the door and the majority of the sounds disappeared..

"want a drink" John began as he walked across the room, she had thought about hesitating but after what she had witnessed she need a drink, a strong one at that, he apparently sensed that as well cause before she could answer he was pouring them both a glass of whiskey.."Please...take a seat" he said as he handed her the glass and she damn near inhaled the entire thing as she began coughing instantly.." slow down with that" he laughed as she continued with her bout of coughing..

"More" she gasped out in between coughs, it burnt the whole way down, she definitely wasnt a whiskey girl but right now it was what she needed..

"Maybe you should wait a minute...you gonna be ok?" he looked at her and she shook her head and made a gesture with her hand for another, he shrugged his shoulders.."alright then but dont say I didnt warn ya" he laughed as he poured her another drink and her coughing began to slow down.."maybe you should take it slower this time around"

"Point taken" she coughed once more as she grabbed the glass and took a seat on the couch, a bit embarrassed over her coughing fit but at least it took her mind off of the craziness going on behind the doors..

John made his way around his desk and took a seat as she now slowly nursed the whiskey, it tasted horrible but her mouth was almost completely numb now which she was grateful for.."so... what do you think?"

Natalie choked some on her drink as she looked at him.."Huh?" she said quickly, coughing a little bit, he shook his head..

"my club, its different at night, more alive" he grinned, he could tell she was uncomfortable but she had gone there to see him, so she couldnt of been that uncomfortable..

"alive is an understatement" she said a bit sarcastically..."Jess,...i mean Tess use to.." her words trailed off, she couldnt even fathom Tess doing any of that..

"Yes, she was quite good too...or bad, depending on how you look at it" he took a sip of his drink..."Im curious as to what you think" he leaned back in his chair..

"what I think?" she asked with confusion as she looked at him, he grinned..

"yes,... what is your opinion on my club?" he was curious to know..

"Oh... well... my opinion really doesnt matter here" she began to mumble some..

"but your twins..." he began, she cut him off..

"Me and Jess are twins, not me and Tess" she said a bit defensively...

"huh...but Jess and Tess are the same person" he cocked his head..

"No they are not, Jess and Tess are nothing alike" she said defensively yet again..

"Listen im not a psychiatrist or anything but anyone can see that they share the same body, just different personalities, so yes...Tess is your twin as well whether you like it or not, you two are genetically alike" he smiled, he was glad he had researched the Buchanan family, they had an awful lot of skeletons in their closet, and a lot of mentally unstable people, mother and daughter alike, as far as he could tell Natalie had lucked out...

"Fine, genetically we are... but as far as anything else goes we are totally different" she snapped, he cocked his head again..

"why so defensive?" he looked at her, she nursed her drink some more..

"Im not being defensive" she stated matter of factly..

"Let me ask you something, why does this place make you so uncomfortable, is it the nudity, the environment?" he sipped slowly on his drink..

"do you really want to know" she said quickly, he nodded.."its everything about this place, its...its...unnatural"

"Unnatural? Something tells me your not a saint Natalie" he grinned and she felt her cheeks begin to flush, she sipped more of her drink..

"I didnt say that, its just...well, somethings are suppose to be done in private" she spit out quickly..

"some people are into voyeurism, not everyone is out in the open, would you like to see the private rooms?" she nearly choked again..

"No thanks" she wiped her mouth as he smiled...

"You really are so different then her,...your sister... she was very open minded, very willing to explore" he began and Natalie put her hand up..

"Please dont go into detail about her explorations, I dont want to be sick" the thought of hearing what her sister had done made her physically feel ill..

"dont mock it till you try it" he grinned..

"No thanks, think I will pass" she said quickly..

"You think?" he raised an eyebrow..

"No,...i know" she corrected herself and he leaned his elbows on his desk..

"Well if you want to get to know your sister better then your going to have to open up a little, what happens here is not bad, its empowering, actually" he stared straight at her, she laughed a little sarcastically..

"empowering for whom? The guys whipping the girls out there, come on... women fought for years for equal rights" she met his stare..

"You are getting the wrong idea...those women, the ones out there, they want to be out there, they want to be chained up, actually they have all the power in the world cause their Masters can only go as far as they will let them, they say when enough is enough, this is all very much consensual, you need to look outside the box" he felt strongly about what he spoke, she could tell, but she too felt strongly about how she felt.."and believe me I have men in some of the rooms right now getting the same treatment as the ladies"

Natalie couldnt help but laugh, he wasnt though.."oh come on, you dont find this all a bit ridiculous, I mean you seem like a smart man, ex FBI as well"

He leaned back in his chair.." I see you've done your research as well, continue"

"Im a cop, thats what I do, I research things" she began, feeling pretty proud of herself as she looked at him..

"then maybe you should of spent more time researching this life style then researching me or maybe just maybe I intrigue you" he smiled some as he looked at her, she felt her heart race..

"Oh I wasnt" she began mumbling as he stood up and walked around his desk and stood in front of her..

"You dont have to hide with me Natalie, I use to read people for a living, nothing to be ashamed of, everyone has desires, even you" his voice rasped and she began to sweat, she gulped down the rest of her drink..

"Not to burst your bubble but believe me I dont have any desires" she began and he shook his head as he began walking around slowly, she was watching him..

"i find that hard to believe that you have no desires" he kept his back turned from her and she laughed ..

"i dont" she laughed nervously, this was definitely not a conversation she was wanting to have with him..

"so then I am guessing it would make you uncomfortable if I told you that I have been having some desires and thoughts about you" he turned and faced her now and her eyes were as wide as can be, was he for real.."I mean, look at you, your beautiful, sexy as hell even when you try and tone it down with a pair of jeans" he began walking towards her, she gulped, not knowing what to do, she never had this happen before, not ever.." I can imagine what my hand would feel like slapping against that sweet ass of yours" he leaned over her, his hands trapping her on the couch, she gasped, unable to move, he moved his face closer, she could literally feel his breath on her face, it was sweet, warm, her throat got dry.." and right about now im guessing the feeling is mutual, isnt that right sweetheart" he rasped into her ear, she could feel the heat coming off his body, it was the most insane feeling she had ever felt, she felt like pudding in his hands, literally..."am I wrong?" he brushed his stubble onto the side of her face and a tiny sound left her mouth but it wasnt a word, he pulled back, a huge grin on his face.."that was a lot easier then I thought" he stood up, he was laughing slightly now, she had to take a moment to collect herself and what had just happened.." so anyway back to your sister" he walked back around to his desk..

"what the hell was that" she finally spoke, suddenly feeling like there was a big joke being played on her and she didnt like it...

"Oh that" he raised an eyebrow and poured himself another drink..

"I dont know what you think your doing" she began to get mad and stood up..

"sit down Natalie" he said calmly as he took a sip..

"No... who the hell do you think you are" she was embarrassed now, he was toying with her..

"No im serious...sit...down...now" his voice got stern..

"No" she huffed..

"Damn it Natalie, SIT DOWN NOW!" his voice rumbled through the room, she jumped and instantly sat down, it was just a normal reaction to his tone, it freaked her out but he grinned again.."I could definitely have fun with you" now she stood again..

"Your a fucking freak" she stormed to the door, she couldnt believe the nerve of him..

"and you like it" she heard him say, she faced the door still..

"your out of your mind, I will do this on my own without your help, your lucky I dont press harassment charges" she snapped at him, finally looking at him..

He laughed..."harassment charges? Where did you go to police training, nothing I did constitutes as harassment, your just upset cause I made you feel something, something that im sure you haven't felt in awhile if ever" he grinned smugly, she rolled her eyes..

"Just cause you intimidated me" she began, he cut her off..

"Oh now I intimidated you, huh...a police officer easily intimidated?" he laughed..

"Your an asshole, this was a complete waste of my time" she opened the door and before she could step out his hand was on it, closing it again, she spun to face him now.."how dare you!"

"Oh come on Natalie, relax... geez I was just having a little fun, your so damn uptight" he shook his head but she found nothing funny about what had just happened..

"I came here cause I mistakenly thought you would help me find my sister, instead you try and come on to me" she snapped, he grinned..

"Oh believe me if I was going to come on to you, well you would know about it sweetheart,...this is who I am, this is what I do" he moved from the door, she just watched him, she was breathing heavy now.."so maybe I went a little too far, I wanted to see how far I could push you out of your comfort zone, no harm in that but there is no need to get bitchy cause your embarrassed by what you felt" he walked back to his desk, still she didnt move..

"I felt uncomfortable" she stated bluntly, he shook his head..

"ok then, you felt uncomfortable" he sipped his drink, she crossed her arms over her chest...

"you got into my proxemics, you caught me off guard that is all" she stood there angrily, now he rolled his eyes..

"Ok Miss Detective, I invaded your space, caught you off guard otherwise you would of pushed me back, kicked me in the balls, punched me in the face like they taught you in boot camp, right?" he shook his head..

"well excuse me for not wanting to hurt you by hitting you" she huffed, he held back a laugh..

"ok, then my apologies, it wont happen again, I will leave you and your proxemics alone, scouts honor" he put his hands up, he was smiling..

"Your making fun of me, I dont appreciate it, were both suppose to be adults here, not acting like children"she snapped..

"Yes Ma'am, you are 100% correct, would you like me to pinky swear you that I wont do it again?" he smiled, she rolled her eyes.."come on, were adults... like you said, I will behave myself, I promise, I do want to help you"

"I didnt come here for this" she stood by the door and he shook his head, a smirk on his face..

"Your right, from now on I am a complete gentleman, totally reformed" he smiled and gestured for her to sit down, she huffed slightly but then walked to the couch..

"I am only sitting cause I want to , not cause your making me" she stated firmly..

" of course" he smiled.."so now where were we,...ah yes your interesting sister Tess, the last time I saw her was maybe 3 or 4 days ago, her and Logan were planning a vacation of sorts" Natalie's eyes got wide..

"who is Logan, did they leave the state?" she said quickly..

"I mean do you really want to do this, she is happy, he is happy" he began and Natalie stared at him hard.."ok..ok... I believe they left town, actually I believe they left the state, I heard him mention something about Hawaii but I dont know"

"You dont know or your just not telling me, listen Tess, my sister...they are sick, ok...she has a baby at home who needs her mom, she has a life in Lanview, if you know where I can find them or reach them, you have to tell me" she felt her heart race at the idea that her sister could of gone out of the state and to Hawaii with this man while Bree waited for her mom..

"Listen when you first contacted me about this I put a call in, apparently they aren't getting a signal where they are, but its not like they will be gone forever, your just gonna have to wait for them to come back" he sipped his drink and sat back..

"well im glad you feel so confident about that but this is my sister and she has gone missing, I want to know everything about this Logan person, what is his last name, I want all the records on him" she snapped ..

"there is such a thing as confidentiality, I cant just give you my client records" he laughed some as he shook his head..

"Oh so now your not going to help me, figures!" she snapped as she stood up again and headed for the door..

"Geez why cant you just relax a minute, I didnt say I wasnt going to help you" he got up as well but there was a knock on the door, he looked at natalie then answered it, there stood a very pretty young girl, maybe about Natalie's age, dark brown hair, brown eyes, dressed in a very revealing tight outfit, her breasts barely covered, Natalie had to look away quickly.."Your early" John began as he looked the girl up and down..

"im sorry master, I just, ….i need to see you" the girl practically oozed sex and Natalie felt ill and completely awkward..

"well let me finish in here and I will meet up with you in a minute, why dont you go grab a favorite toy, surprise me" he grinned and the girls eyes lit up..

"Of course Sir, thank you" the girl said with excitement as she took off and natalie rolled her eyes, it wasnt lost on John..

"so anyways like I was saying" she couldnt believe he was just gonna continue as if a girl hadnt just come in there acting like some sex slave, this was beyond ridiculous."Im sorry is there something wrong?" he said a bit sarcastically..

Natalie rolled her eyes again.."not at all"

"well good,...i said I will help you and I keep my word but right now I have another pressing matter" he began and Natalie held her hand up, not wanting to hear any further..

"yeah well you go deal with that, I will just talk to you whenever" she walked past him, he smiled, she was jealous, she was definitely jealous, he liked that..

Natalie quickly made her way outside, she couldnt get out of that place fast enough, it was enough craziness for one night, and John had a pressing matter at hand, she hated that she felt her stomach twist at the thought of what would go on tonight, she shouldn't even care, she kept telling herself as she got into her car and took off...


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

The next few days Natalie began to feel as if she was losing her mind, she was having thoughts, bad thoughts, insane sexually driven thoughts of him, of John.. She could barely sleep at night, she could barely eat, every time she closed her eyes she saw him, she saw the dungeon, she saw that girl, she shook the thoughts from her head, this wasn't like her, to feel this way, so out of control, he was under her skin.. Her dreams were becoming more and more graphic as the days went on, she tried to just work it off, laugh it off even but her dreams were filled with erotic notions and images, she felt like she was breaking at the seams..

_It was dark in the room, only a candle lit off in the distance, she looked around, wondering where she was, she went to talk but no sound came out then she saw him, her heart began to race as he got lit up in the candle light, he looked like a god standing there.._

He was clad in a pair of black leather pants, no shirt, black boots on, his long hair in his face, sweat beading down his perfect chest, he moved closer to her, strutting his body as she took in the delicious view..

"You've been waiting for this, for me" his voice went through her and her eyes closed, she felt his hand come around her neck, his strong fingers wrapping themselves against her soft skin"say it" he demanded..

A loud knock on her office door got her attention as she spun herself around from her desk window.."come in" she called out as her Uncle came walking in.."Hey Uncle Bo" she felt her face flushed, her heart still racing, she immediately began looking at files on her desk..

"Hey Nat, was wondering if you found anything out about Jess yet" she was glad that he seemed to be concerned about Jess and her disappearance but she contemplated what she was going to tell him about what she found out, surely she wasn't about to tell him about the underground, definitely not a conversation she wanted to have with him..

"well not much, still going on some leads" she began which wasn't entirely a lie..

" I think she may really be gone this time" he sighed and took a seat, running his hand over his tired face..."maybe its a good thing"

"its never a good thing Uncle Bo, im gonna find her and im gonna bring her home" she said quickly, he smiled slightly..

"You know you work too much Nat, you need to go out and have fun, sitting here all day, its...well depressing" he said honestly..

"I like to work, it keeps me busy, if the criminals wont sleep" she began and he smiled.

"then you wont either, your a lot like me kiddo"

"well then I take that as a huge compliment" she grinned big..

"but your also 20 years younger then me, you should have a life outside of here, life's too short to be sitting here all the time, some cases can wait" he seemed concerned about her, she was grateful for his concern but she was a big girl, she had things to do, she did, she just choose to work, she worked hard for this.."don't you have any guy friends" he began and she shook her head, she didn't want to talk about this just about as much as she didn't want to tell him about the BDSM club..

"OK Uncle Bo, lets not go there" she laughed nervously as she began fumbling through files..

"I know you were seeing Cris, he was a good guy, right?" he began and she sighed loud as she looked at him..

"he was great Bo but things did not work out, but its better that way, im happy being alone, I like my life" she said quickly..

"Your way too beautiful and smart to be sitting here on a Friday night Nat, I know a lot of the other officers are your age, you should interact more often, go out and have fun"

"and I will, im just trying to wrap up" she began as he placed his hand on the file she was looking at , closing it as she glanced up at him..

"and these will be here on Monday, they are all closed case files, they aren't going anywhere, you need to get out of here, I mean if you want I could look around for you, see if we an set you up on a blind date" he began and she jumped up now..

"You know what I am going to go out anyways" she said quickly, it was much better then her uncle trying to set her up, my god how pathetic had she gotten that her own uncle was trying to get her laid, come on!

"But I do know of a few men" he began and she shook her head quickly as she grabbed her purse..

"Thanks for the offer Bo, I appreciate it but im just gonna go out, and have fun, like you said, release some tension, OK?" she said with a nervous smile as he stood as well..

"Are you sure cause it wouldn't be a problem" he began and she shook her head..

"No, im actually...you know, there is this guy, I was gonna meet him tonight and I almost forgot" she began as she went to the door, Bo's eyes got wide...

"Really?" he seemed intrigued..

"Yep" she lied..."so I gotta go, I will see you Monday" she said quickly as she scurried off, she would find something to do, even if it was just sitting in her apartment all weekend away from everyone and everything..

She decided to stop by Rodi's and grab a burger to bring home, she had decided to just watch movies at home and unwind, she would take her mind off of everything, including John McBain..

Walking inside she was immediately greeted by Mac, the bar owner, he was wiping down tables "there's my favorite detective, hows it going Red, keeping our streets safe" he smiled..

"doing my best Mac, hows the place holding up" she smiled at him, Rodi's was by far the best place to come to in town, it had a friendly atmosphere, great people, great food, including burgers.."would it be too much to ask for a burger with all the fixens" she began as he made his way to the bar..

"and a beer to wash that down beautiful" he grinned, she shook her head..

"not tonight Mac, just gonna take my food and go, maybe watch a movie" she suddenly realized how pathetic she sounded but he smiled like he always does..

"Its Friday night and your gonna be home alone,...what has this world come to" he said with a shake of his head.."You know back in the day I would of wined and dined you"

She blushed at his compliment" well thank you Mac, im sure you drive the ladies crazy" Mac now blushed.. He was the sweetest man, probably in his late 60's now, barely any hair left on top, and what was there was now white as well as his facial hair, she always knew to take his advances lightly, he was always nothing but a gentleman, he was like the grandfather of Rodi's maybe even of Lanview itself..

"Oh I did" he grinned..."let me get that burger for you" he made his way into the back and she began to take a seat..

"I never thought of you as a grandpa chaser but that could answer a lot of my questions" a voice said from behind her and she knew exactly who it was as she spun to meet his blue eyes..

"Mr. McBain" she said quickly and he smiled..

"Oh were back on this again, huh" John grinned as he took a seat next to her, she hadn't come back around the underground, not that he was waiting for her too, OK maybe a small part was, so he took it upon himself to see what exactly she had been up to, his first place was to look at Rodi's and low and behold..

"I'm just trying to have a relaxing night" she began..."shouldn't you be working or chaining up someone" she said with a sarcastic laugh..

"that's cute... but the good thing about running my own business is that I can take time off when I want, plus the underground will be fine without me, why have you been missing me?" he cocked his eyebrow at her and she thought of the dreams she had been having, she looked away quickly..

"Yeah right, funny" she said with a nervous laugh as he looked at her.."why are you following me around" she asked as she sat there..

"following you? Since when is coming to the local bar considered stalking?" he grinned and ordered himself a beer.."you want a beer?"

"I'm waiting on a burger, im not staying" she looked out the large window..

"got a big date" he began and she finally spun around and faced him..

"why are you here" she snapped at him rudely..

"why are you being so bitchy" he said with a smile..

"Oh you haven't seen me be bitchy yet" she laughed sarcastically...

"Well I thought you wanted my help in finding your sister" he began..

"why do you know something?" she looked at him, knowing that he had absolutely no information on Jess, that was apparent, he just liked to fuck with her but she wasn't like that girl he had waiting back at the underground, the thought irked her..

"Nope" he shrugged his shoulders and she huffed..

"of course you don't" she said sarcastically as she rolled her eyes..

"wow something definitely rubbed you the wrong way, wanna talk about it" he almost sounded serious, she looked at him with a roll of her eyes..

"now why would I want to do that, I don't know you, were not friends" she rolled her eyes again..

"do you always act like this or is it just me" he began, now she smiled.

"oh its definitely just you" she spit out..

"Ouch that hurt" he sipped his beer and looked at her, she turned herself all the way around, so her back was facing him.."are you still mad about the other night"

"Mad, are you out of your mind, please.." she snapped as she looked at him..

"You are, your mad, it was nothing against you" he began and she faced him now..

"Did you not hear me, I said I am not mad, why the hell would I be mad, im not your keeper, you can fuck whatever you want" she began, his eyes got wide..

"ahh I see" he sipped his beer, now she was getting mad..

"what does that mean?" she snapped..

"It means that I understand, your not mad, your jealous" he spit out, her eyes went wide.."I was thinking you were upset about me taking back my advances that night, I had forgot about my little pet"

"wow you really are egotistical, aren't you" she snapped nervously at him..

"and your feelings are hurt, like I said before" he began she put her hand up..

"OK let me put this in terms maybe you can understand... I...Natalie Buchanan am not interested in you, in your disgusting little club or anything pertaining to that" she looked him straight in the eye, those damn blue eyes..

"My club is disgusting now?" he cocked his head, he looked amused, it annoyed her..

"god...can you just stop"she shook her head at him..

"and you think im god" he smirked, she fought a smile, he got her there.."was that a hint of a smile I saw"

"Your crazy" she spun around again..

"why is it so hard for you to just unwind" he drank more of his beer..

"im trying to do that right now, thank you very much" she kept her back turned..

"Your gonna unwind with a crappy burger and what ben and jerrys in front of the tv at your apartment, alone and on a Friday night" he said a bit sarcastically, she spun in her seat..

"what is the big deal with sitting at home on a Friday night" she huffed..

"Nothing except when your doing it alone" he smiled..

"I like being alone, OK" she cocked her head, she was gonna need a drink after this..

"No one likes being alone, you just don't have the nerve to change that" he shrugged his shoulders..

"just cause I don't go out to crazy clubs every night doesn't " she began, he stopped her, putting his hand on hers and for a second she froze, then yanked her hand back..

"why do you keep bringing up my club" he sounded serious, she swallowed hard, where was that damn burger, she looked around for Mac..

"im not, I was just saying...i don't need to explain myself to you" she said sarcastically..

"fine, but you know if you wanted to hang out with me all you have to do is ask" he smiled as Mac came walking out from the back, she jumped up quickly..

"well that would be great, but I don't want to " she said quickly as she grabbed the bag from Mac, placing a ten on the bar as she held her keys In her hand.."keep the change Mac" she said quickly as she practically ran out of there, her food in hand as Mac looked confused, and John glanced at her purse that was still sitting on the bar..

Natalie rushed home, John McBain had some nerve, trying to psychoanalyze her, who the hell did he think he was, she got inside and plopped herself on the couch, food on the coffee table, she sighed heavily as she went to grab for her phone which was in her purse, her eyes got wide..

"shit!" she huffed in frustration, she had forgotten her purse back at Rodi's, McBain had gotten her so annoyed that she just left without it, she grabbed her keys and headed to the door, annoyed that once she got back her burger would be cold, she opened the door and there he stood, John again, her purse in his hand..

"I come bringing a piece offering" he held her purse out, her heart was racing..

"How did you get this" she snapped, he took a step back..

"Usually a thank you is enough" he shook his head..

"Fine...thank you, I wouldn't of left it if you didn't aggravate me" she said defensively as she took her purse, he just stood there..

"Oh so its my fault now that you left your purse at the bar, you really do need to unwind" he reached down and grabbed a bag from the floor that was hidden off to the side.."good thing I brought these" he walked inside as she stood there shocked..

"Umm...excuse me" she began but he was walking around, checking things out, ignoring her..

"Nice place, looks like you spend a lot of time here...alone" he began walking into her kitchen..

"what are you doing?" she asked with shock as she walked into her kitchen and he proceeded in putting a 12 pack of beer in it..

"No one likes warm beer" he said as he put them in the fridge, she huffed as he spun around, two beers in hand, he held one out to her, she didn't budge.."Oh come on, you know you don't really want to be sitting here alone and well you kind of owe me, I mean I did bring you your purse before some creep got his hands on it"

"Oh a creep did" she stated quickly and he laughed, he laughed loud, catching her off guard as he handed her a beer and walked past her..

"that was a good one, im gonna have to write that down" he laughed as he walked into the living room, she followed..

"Listen I appreciate you bringing my purse here OK" she said calmly this time.."but I really just wanna be alone"

"No you don't" he said as he popped open his beer and sat on the couch, she just stood there, looking at him, she couldn't believe this.."come on just relax, hell I may just be your only friend in town" she hated that it rang some truth to it..

"Oh I have friends" she snapped as she stood there..

"its one beer, its not gonna kill you" he rolled his eyes then grabbed her bag with the burger in it.."now this on the other hand, this may kill you" he grinned, she grabbed the bag from him and huffed as she sat on the opposite couch from him, he smiled.."see, its not so bad"

"I'm only letting you stay cause you brought my purse" she said quickly as she opened her beer and took a sip, and took out her burger..

"You don't always have to have a reason for everything Natalie" he said quietly, she shoved the burger in her mouth and quickly began to eat.."Your place is nice though, a bit too clean" he began as she chewed her food..

"sorry if its too clean for you" she said sarcastically, he shook his head..

"your something else Natalie" he leaned back on the couch and she grabbed the remote and put on the tv, she immediately flicked on the life time channel, that would get him to leave in no time she thought to herself even if a part of her was happy to not be alone, it had been a long while since she had company over, especially a guy..

John leaned back more on the couch, now crossing his leg.."Oh now this is a good one" he said as he sipped his beer, Natalie just looked at him.."what? I love lifetime movies, have you seen Mother may I sleep with danger, now that one, well that made me want to seek therapy"

"Your kidding right?" she laughed some as she looked at him, he was unreal!

"what? A real man can watch lifetime sweetheart" he laughed and got himself more comfortable on the couch, Natalie looked at the tv, it was some movie about teen pregnancy, truly a lifetime original."You know kids these days seem to be thinking less with their heads and more with their groins" he said as he shook his head, she looked back at the tv, he smiled as she finished her burger..

He seemed to really be getting into the flick, she tried to ignore him, she grabbed her paper bag and headed into the kitchen, he was relentless, she tossed it in the garbage and grabbed another beer, staring into the sad looking fridge..

"and I thought my fridge looked pathetic, don't you cook" he said from behind her and she jumped a bit, and spun around as he grabbed himself a beer..

"I don't have time to cook" she said quickly, he popped open his beer, and took a sip..

"everyone has time to cook" he shook his head.."when was the last time someone cooked for you"

"Ha..." she laughed as she took a sip..

"seriously, when was the last time anyone cooked for you?" he looked at her harder, she shook her head..

"i dunno, a few years ago" she said as she tried to move past him, he touched her arm, she stopped..

"when was the last time you had a relationship Natalie" he asked and she looked at him, and laughed..

"please, I am so sure that your not interested in my love life OK" she said with a sarcastic laugh, but he held onto her arm as she tried to walk away, she looked at his hand on her arm.."when was the last time you had a relationship" she asked smugly, he removed his hand..."exactly, now lets not dive into other peoples past, OK" she walked past him, he followed..

"i don't care about you diving into my past Natalie, you already did a background on me" he began and she took a seat..

"And you did one on me, so there, we are even" she sipped her beer heavily.."since you have so many questions about me, why don't you answer some of yourself, like why you dropped out of the FBI" she said quickly as he stood there, he took a hefty gulp of beer and sat back down..

"sometimes you realize that its just not your calling" he said low and she knew she should of stopped the questions but damn it, she wanted to know and he was always asking her questions..

"so you went through all the rigorous training, spent years with the FBI and woke up one day and thought, hey this isn't for me" she said sarcastically, she wasn't buying it..

"I changed, life changed" he said quickly and she just couldn't keep her mouth shut..

"Yeah well people just don't up and make drastic changes in their career like that, your 35 years old, a hell of a time to make such a life altering decision" she sipped back her beer..

"Oh your gonna try and analyze me now, huh... give it your best shot Natalie, ive heard it all, maybe we should bring up about my family being murdered, that would make a good conversation piece, right... I mean shit, why don't we just get straight to it, would that make you feel better?" he said abruptly, she gulped, feeling horribly bad..

"I didn't,...it wasn't" she couldn't even speak as she looked at him..

"Its not a secret, anyone with a computer can research and find out about me and my demons, we all got them, something in our past that makes us change the way we think, so why don't you tell me how you really feel, you think im a freak, depressed, about to crack?" he was completely and 100% serious, she just looked at him as he finished off the rest of his beer.."well im not, OK... shit happens, you move past it, you move on, you don't let it rule you, can you say that about yourself, huh?" he got up and walked into the kitchen as she sat there, speechless..

She got up, walked into the kitchen as he grabbed another beer.."I'm sorry" she said low, he turned and faced her..

"You don't need to apologize to me, I don't hide anything about myself, its all right here either take it or leave it, you on the other hand hide everything, im sure your closets are bulging with skeletons but you will never truly be free until you can let it all go" he looked at her, she felt stupid, he walked over to her, he put his hand on her face.." I like you,...alot... there is something about you, something behind those eyes, something waiting to be unleashed and set free"

She didn't know what to say, this was like a huge shock to her system, she just looked at him, he pushed a piece of her hair behind her ear.."now can we finish the movie?" he smiled as he walked past her and she stood there completely flushed and confused..

She made her way back inside, she really had no idea what to say to him, maybe she had been wrong about him, maybe he wasn't a bad guy after all.. They sat in silence as they watched the movie, they also finished off the 12 pack, and when Natalie got up to bring the last beer into the kitchen he followed her..

"Now this wasn't so bad, huh?" he asked honestly..

"actually it wasn't" she seemed a bit surprised to say that but it was true..

"You seem surprised, you weren't expecting me to try and talk you into being tied up or something" he laughed some as he began putting the beer in a garbage bag.."You did, didn't you?" he smirked some and she couldn't lie..

She shrugged her shoulders.."OK maybe a little"

"I'm actually quite normal believe it or not" he grinned..

"i think im kind of seeing that" she said honestly, he held the bag in his hand..

"well its late, let me get rid of this for you" he walked past her and she kind of just stood there for a second then she pun towards the living room.."maybe we can do this again sometime, it was nice"

"Umm yeah, sometime" she suddenly felt shy, like really shy as she stood there, he walked over to her, she stopped breathing, he leaned in, placed a kiss on her cheek, she didn't move..

"goodnight...Natalie" and then he was gone and she was still standing there trying to figure out what exactly had happened..


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Natalie didn't know what to think about what had happened with John, if she wasn't totally confused about what she was feeling before, well now she felt completely messed up, she barely slept that night, maybe she was wrong about him, he seemed well normal..

She sat around her place all day on Saturday, even on Sunday not knowing what her next move would be, if there should even be one, its not like he came by again or even called, it all left her feeling strange, she wasn't going to stop by his place of work, she kept herself busy all weekend, trying not to think of what he was doing and with whom..

Gigi had stopped by on Sunday evening and Natalie was grateful for the distraction..

"I really cant believe she left Bree, I mean its a good thing but wow" Gigi said as they sat on the couch, sipping coffee..

"I think she may of left the state but I cant get a conformation on that" Natalie sighed and her mind immediately went to John...

"she doesn't want to be found and maybe its time you stop looking Nat" Gigi said with concern as she looked at her friend..

"Tess doesn't want to be found but Jess would, I know that, John seems to think" she began and Gigi looked at her confused..

"John? who's John?" she asked with a curious smirk and Natalie immediately regretted bringing him into this..

"Oh no one, just this guy...but anyway" Natalie tried to change the subject but Gigi was having no part of it..

"Oh no...go back...who is John" she smirked and Natalie shook her head as she began to get flushed..

""No one really, he was helping me" Natalie began and Gigi grinned..

"Uh huh...helping...sure...tell me all about him, where did you meet him, is he a cop?" Gigi said with excitement and Natalie blushed harder..

"No not exactly,... he is just, you know" she said nervously..

"No I don't know Nat" Gigi laughed.."are you seeing someone, you are, aren't you" Gigi's eyes got wide..

"No...not at all" Natalie laughed nervously and began flipping through channels on the tv..

"stop trying to change the subject... come on Nat, its been like forever since you have been involved with anyone and now that you are your going to keep him a secret" Gigi pouted some and Natalie sighed..

"I'm not involved with anyone" Natalie began as a knock was heard on the door and then it opened and Rex came walking in..

"There's my two favorite ladies!" he said as he walked over giving Gigi a hug and a kiss, Natalie just smiled, they really were happy and she was happy for them..

"Nat is seeing a mystery guy" Gigi blurted out and Natalie turned red, her eyes wide..

"No im not" she said quickly as Rex looked at them both and smirked..

"Oh boy, who is he?" he said as he took a seat on the couch and Natalie put her head in her hands..

"I'm not seeing anyone, geez..." she began and Gigi laughed..

"Uh huh, sure" she looked to Rex.."his name is John" Gigi began but Rex's eyes just got wide, he didn't look happy at all..

"Your not talking about that McBain guy , are you?" he asked Natalie who refused to look up..

"McBain? I thought you said his name was John" Gigi said with confusion,..."who is Mcbain?"

"John Mcbain, come on Nat don't tell me your getting involved with this guy, I told you to stay away, he is trouble" Rex said defensively, now Natalie lifted her head..

"I'm not involved ok, its nothing" she got up quickly..

"who is this John guy, you know him" Gigi said quickly but Rex was up and off the couch in a second, following Natalie into the kitchen, Gigi in tow..

"Natalie the guy is weird not to mention his business" Rex said quickly, Natalie shook her head ..

"I'm not seeing him ok, he is or was helping me find Jess, geez" she fumbled through her fridge..

"his business? What are you two talking about" Gigi began to sound annoyed, rex looked at her and sighed..

"babe he has a...a umm... a dungeon" he finally spit out and she looked at him shocked..

"a what?" gigi said with confusion..

"A dungeon ok... man!... im not seeing him Rex, he is helping me" Natalie said defensively..

Rex shook his head disapprovingly.."oh I am sure he is trying to help himself, someone needs to teach him a lesson"

"A dungeon?" Gigi said again..

"Rex stop it, ok... its fine... im not interested in him or his lifestyle, god!" Natalie huffed as she walked out of the kitchen, Rex and Gigi in tow..

"I warned you about him Nat, the guy has like severe mental issues, I mean look what he does for a living, no sister of mine is going to get caught up in that crap" Rex said defensively..

"Like a real live dungeon?" Gigi continued..

"I'm a grown woman Rex and im not getting caught up in anything" Natalie began to get loud..

"am I gonna have to go by and see him, am I?" she use to love how protective rex was, he was always looking out for her best interest but now, now she wished he would just butt out of it..

"Oh come on rex , give it a rest" Natalie rolled her eyes..

"Like whips and chains" Gigi continued..

"YES!" Natalie and Rex yelled in unison at Gigi..

"Oh" Gigi said quietly.."Your not getting handcuffed are you?"

"No!" Natalie said defensively and rex looked like he was gonna be sick..."I'm not doing anything"

"I saw what goes on there Nat and you cant, I mean not only for yourself but your a cop, what would Vicki and Clint think" Rex began to mumble..

"Oh my god I am not doing anything, I don't even like the guy, he was just helping me out ok, im not even going to see him again" Natalie huffed..

"Like people going there to get spanked and stuff" Gigi said and Rex just looked at her then he looked back at Natalie.

"Nat promise me your not gonna get involved in that, I know you want to find Tess but there has to be another way, I will help you, just tell me what you need" rex began to plead, she just looked at him..

"He cant help me anyway, he doesn't know where they went" Natalie began and Rex sighed loud..

"well good cause the guy has like a new girl every night, and its disgusting Nat" Rex said seriously and Natalie fought the urge to roll her eyes at him, he was being quite dramatic..

"I didn't know that places like that really existed" Gigi said and rex looked at her..

"they do babe and believe me the people who go there are the lowest of the low, probably all drug addicts and Satan worshipers" he began and Natalie couldn't help but laugh sarcastically now..

"Oh come on you don't really believe that do you, since when are you such a holy saint Rex" Natalie laughed ..

"she kind of has a point there Rex, I mean you give me a little spanking here and there" gigi smiled..

"Not helping Gi, not helping" rex said quickly..

"Ok well im tired, thanks for the visit" Natalie said quickly as she looked at them..

"I'm not dropping this Nat, im serious" Rex said with concern..

"and im serious too, im not involved in any crazy shit and I am tired, I have work in the morning" Natalie began and Rex frowned..

"Yes you do cause your a law abiding police officer" he stated with a serious face..

"I know Rex... and im fine, I promise" she began and he shook his head as he took Gigi's hand..

"I love ya Nat and I don't want to see you getting in trouble, I worry, im your brother" he began and Natalie relaxed a bit..

"i love you too Rex and I appreciate your concern but there really is nothing to worry about" she said softer this time as she looked at him, Gigi was still mumbling stuff to herself..

"alright Nat" Rex sighed."I believe you"

"Thank you, now why don't you two get out of here and enjoy the rest of your night, its still early" Natalie began..

"I am kind of hungry, maybe we could get Chinese" Gigi said quickly as her and Rex walked to the door, Natalie following them..

"alright" he looked to Gigi then Natalie.."I will call you tomorrow, ok"

"ok ok... I love you guys, have a good night" Natalie said with a smile as they opened the door and Gigi mouthed for Natalie to call her , Natalie nodded and they left as she sighed heavily and headed to bed..

The next day Natalie headed off to work without a thought in her mind, she had pushed the weekend away, far into her mind so she wouldn't think of it, she had a job to do, she had a sister to find, she didn't have time for all this nonsense, she carefully flipped through the files on her desk, her mind betraying her with thoughts of him, the sound of a knock on the door caught her off guard, she jumped slightly feeling as if she had been caught red handed, a knock was heard again, she straightened herself out..

"come in" she called out as the door opened and none other then Cristian Vega stood there, a smile on his face, she smiled too, it had been a long time since she had seen him, not since the break up and not since that fateful day in her office.."Cris...hey" she waved him in..

"Hey Nat, how are you" he walked to her, she got up, they shared a hug..

"I'm good...and you, how are things, im surprised to see you here" she said honestly as she stood there, he looked good, maybe a little tired but good...

"Good,.. my stuff is at the gallery now, doing a big show" he began to run his hand through his hair..

"wow, I knew you would do it, congrats " she hugged him again..

"Yeah its been a long time coming" he glanced at the clock then back at her.."You free for lunch, I was hoping we could catch up"

"Ummm" she looked at the clock, knowing damn well she had nothing planned, she looked back at him, he seemed nervous.."Ok... we can do lunch"

"how about Rodi's I can call a few burgers in ahead of time" he smiled..

"Ok sounds like a plan" she grabbed her purse and off they went..

They sat at Rodi's and chatted over a few burgers, Cris was really making a name for himself, Lindsey's gallery was really helping him out, not that she ever thought that he wouldn't make it, he was a brilliant artist, she knew he had it in him..

"This is really exciting Cris, im sure Layla is thrilled" she said softly, even now it was still weird for her to mention Layla with Cris..

"Yeah she is but were taking a little break right now, she is so busy with work and now I have the gallery to deal with" she heard sadness in his voice..

"Oh im sorry to hear that Cris, really I am" she said sincerely, he smiled..

"Its ok, it just wasn't a good time" he said softly.."so enough about me, how are you?"

"Good, just working, keeping busy" she finished off her burger..

"Your always busy" he gave her a slight smile.."You ever think about us" he just blurted it out, it caught her off guard, she almost spit out her drink as she coughed some..

"Us?... oh...um" she didn't know what to say, but suddenly this was all starting to make sense, he reached across the table and took her hand in his..

"I think about what we had all the time" he gulped as he looked at her, she gulped too, he looked down at their hands.."i...i miss us" he looked up and met her eyes..

"Cris" she said low, he shook his head..

"You don't have to say anything Nat, I know things didn't work out between us, but sometimes I just wonder why, we were happy, right...once?" he said low as he looked at her..

"yeah, we were" she said honestly, he let go of her hand..

"Listen I know this might be short notice to ask you this but I really would love you to be at the gallery for the opening of my work, it would mean a lot to me Nat"

She didn't have to think twice as she spoke.."Of course I would Cris, were friends, right?"

"always" he said softly as they finished up their lunch and she finished up her day at the station and headed home..

Seeing Cris again after all this time, it kind of stirred something in her, maybe it was just the memory of what they once had, it wasn't always bad, actually none of it was bad at all, they had grown apart, or better yet Natalie had thrown herself into work and their relationship had suffered from it, but now he was back and single once more, Natalie didn't know what to think, she got to her apartment door but was immediately ripped from her thoughts as she saw the man standing at her door, her heart jumped a little cause there he stood, two bags by his feet, dressed in black slacks, a light baby blue button down shirt, looking like a damn god..

"John" she said with surprise as he smiled..

"I come baring gifts" he picked up the two bags and held them and she looked at him confused, a smirk on her lips..

"uh huh..." she said suspiciously..

"well are you gonna just stand there" he cocked his head and she reached for the door, unlocking it..

"come in, I think?" she said suspiciously again..

He laughed as he walked in.. "your always so nervous around me, its cute...i hope your hungry" he made his way into her kitchen and she followed curiously as he began taking stuff out of the bags and laying it on the counter, he had chicken breasts, linguine, fresh veggies even a bottle of wine...

"what are you doing?" she asked with confusion, he glanced at her for a second then began grabbing pots and pans..

"whats it look like,...you should change into something more comfortable,..i think I got this" he went back to preparing food and she just stood there, he finally turned and looked at her..."I said I would cook you dinner, right?"

"Ummm, I just...i didn't think you would come over, and...i...umm" she mumbled some, she was totally and completely confused and shocked, he was really going to cook her dinner, was this for real, was he for real?

"Your too cute but the food isn't going to cook itself, go get changed I will get you a glass of wine" he went back to the food and she stood there for another second then headed off to her room, her heart racing, he was really cooking for her, she didn't know what to think, she hadn't even heard from him all weekend and now he was in her apartment, cooking for her, this was beyond insane, but she quickly got out of her work clothes and jumped into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, feeling very under dressed but it would have to do, she peeked her head out of her bedroom, he was still in the kitchen, she stood there nervously, she felt like her heart was going to leap out of her chest and it almost did when she heard a knock on the door, she jumped and yelped a bit, someone knocked again, she ran to the door this time, wondering who the hell it could be now, desperately hoping it wasn't Rex but as she opened the door her heart dropped, it was worse then Rex, it was Cris..

"Cris" she said with shock, her eyes wide..

"hey Nat, im sorry I probably shouldn't of" he began and then he inhaled the scents.."wow it smells delicious in here" he smiled and she wanted to die..

"Oh that...its...um...umm" she fumbled with her words but she didn't need to say anything else cause a voice from behind her finished off her sentence as Cris looked up and past her..

"Its dinner,...Hi I'm John" John said as he put his hand out to a very shocked looking Cris, if Natalie could of found a rock big enough to climb under she would of..

"Cris" he said as he shook Johns hand, John looked between the two of them..

"You hungry Cris?" John began and Natalie seriously wanted to die..

"Ummm...i don't know." Cris said as awkwardness filled the room, John smiled..

"Sure you are, come on , you like wine Cris, or a beer" John began walking into the kitchen, Cris began following, Natalie wanted to run out of there, what the hell was going on..

The guys walked into the kitchen and Natalie stood at the doorway, this is definitely not how she expected to spend her night!


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Natalie finally got the courage to make her way into the kitchen, her kitchen, the one that now held John and Cris.. Both guys had a drink in their hand, and they looked at her as she walked in, she felt like she would be sick..

"Here have a drink" John handed her a glass of wine, she gratefully took it and sipped it.."so your an artist, huh... I was looking for some new art work" John brought his attention to Cris, apparently Natalie had come in, in the middle of their conversation..

"Well then you should come by the gallery, having a big opening this week" Cris said proudly as he looked at Natalie, she just kept drinking her wine.."Natalie is coming, it will be fun"

John looked at Natalie now, his eye brow raised.."sounds like a blast, I will definitely be there"

"so how do you two know each other" Cris began and before John could answer, Natalie did..

"through a case, he is helping me find Jess or umm Tess" Natalie spit out nervously as John continued to cook..

"Oh no, she is at it again" cris said with concern then he looked to John.."Your a cop?"

"More like an entrepreneur" John smiled, Natalie turned white..

"Oh yeah, what do you do John" Cris asked with curiosity..

"Sales and stuff, you know" Natalie answered for him nervously.."the food smells great" she said quickly as she went to the fridge.."wanna help me with the salad Cris" she had to change the subject, this was beyond uncomfortable even though Cris seemed very laid back at the moment, John too..

"that's a great idea, the chicken will be done soon" John grinned and Natalie began passing Cris the ingredients for a salad, she couldn't even look at John at the moment.."so how do you two know each other" John blurted out as they prepared the salad, Cris answered before Natalie could..

"We dated a while back" Cris smiled, John did too as he looked at Natalie..

"Oh that's nice, Natalie is a good person" John stared at Natalie.

"she really is" Cris looked at Natalie and she kept her eyes on the salad... "but were all friends now, right"

"Yep...friends" Natalie spit out quickly, her brow beginning to sweat some..

"You wanna help me with the table Cris" John began and Cris jumped to the offer..

"i think I remember where everything use to be, its been awhile" Cris said nonchalantly, John just smiled as Cris began grabbing for plates.."Nat was never one for eating at home"

"I can tell, I saw her fridge" John laughed, so did Cris..

"I use to always tell her that she cant live off of fast food her whole life" Cris began grabbing silverware, Natalie wanted to die..

"that stuff will kill you, nothing like a home cooked meal if you ask me" John went back to the chicken as Cris set the table, Natalie looked to John.."I hope your hungry"

"yeah" she said with a nervous laugh..

"good cause im starving" John said a bit seductively and she felt the temperature in the room go up, she grabbed her glass of wine and took a hefty sip..

"Are you sure this is cool, I don't want to be imposing" Cris began, John just patted his shoulder..

"Totally cool,... any friend of Natalie's is a friend of mine" John began as the two guys looked at one another..

"same goes for me" Cris said and Natalie looked between the two of them, this definitely couldn't end up good.."great wine by the way" Cris took another sip..

"only the best" John looked to Natalie and she kept the glass to her lips..

"its great though that your helping to find Tess, she can be a handful" Cris began, John grinned..

"it seems to run in the family" he smiled, Cris looked to Natalie who was now refilling her drink as Cris's phone went off, he looked at it quick..

"Im sorry I have to take this" he said as he stepped out of the kitchen and Natalie made her way to the table, looking at the 3 plates set up..

"He seems like a good kid" John began and she looked at him.."this is fun"

"yeah...a blast" Natalie said sarcastically and John came walking over to her..

"he doesn't really seem like your type, I don't think he really would know how to handle you" he walked past her, his arm brushing against her skin, she felt chills go up her spine..

"Im sorry about that, it was Lindsey" Cris began as he walked in and Natalie moved away from John nervously..

"Oh yeah, is everything ok" Natalie said quickly..

"yeah, she is getting everything ready for this week, I am really glad that you agreed to go with me" he began and before she could say anything John did..

"Natalie is always looking out for everyone's best interest" John grinned, Natalie gulped down the rest of her beer...

"Thats what makes her such a good cop, she is very compassionate about her job" Cris said with a smile..

"I feel the same way about mine" Natalie's eyes got wide as she looked at John..

"you said your into sales, right...what kind" Cris asked..

"well its complicated" John began..

"hey how about we listen to some music, why don't you help me pick out something Cris" Natalie said quickly, not giving John a chance to finish as she grabbed Cris's arm and pulled him into the living room..

"he's pretty cool Nat, seems like a good guy, your not like seeing him are you" Cris asked bluntly and Natalie shook her head and laughed nervously..

"No...no he is just a friend" she said quickly as she fumbled with her Cd's..

"that's kind of what I thought,i mean he is like way older then you" Cris whispered some and Natalie laughed nervously..

"what kind of music...hmmmm" Natalie changed the subject quickly as she fumbled through her Cd's..

"Your not upset that I am staying, right?" Cris asked as he touched her shoulder and she jumped slightly, grabbing a Cd..

"upset, god no...were friends right Cris like me and John are friends too" she said with a nervous shake of her head, if only he knew the truth..

"Your great Nat" Cris smiled..

"she sure is" John called out from the door way..."by the way, dinner is served" he grinned and Natalie popped a CD in and quickly headed in the kitchen with Cris as they all sat down and began to eat..

They kind of just made small talk during the entire meal, mainly John and Cris, Natalie would blurt something out every once and awhile but she was uncomfortable as hell having them both there even though they seem to not have it bother them at all, she felt like she was in an episode of the twilight zone..

She grabbed some plates as they finished eating and she began piling them in the sink as John and Cris began putting the food away..

"the food was great" Cris began..

"yeah it was, thank you John" Natalie said quickly, he topped off her wine glass..

"it was my pleasure" he stood for a second and looked at her, she quickly looked away and she caught Cris's eye, he was staring at them intently..

They all slowly trailed into the living room, Natalie took a seat on the couch and Cris sat on one side of her and John sat in the chair looking at them as he sipped his beer..

No one really said anything, the faint sound of the Cd was still playing in the background, Natalie got up quick.."excuse me I will be right back" she said as she went into her room, she needed a break from this weird situation, John and Cris looked at one another..

"Natalie is a great girl" Cris looked at John..

"A great woman" John corrected him, Cris leaned forward on the couch.."if there is something on your mind, just say it?" John looked at him..

"me and Nat had something great once and im not stupid, I see what your trying to do here" Cris said low, John smiled..

"enlighten me Cris,...please" John leaned back, making himself more comfortable..

"Ok lets cut the bullshit" Cris said as he looked around then back at John.."Natalie belongs with me alright"

"Ok then" John nodded his head with a smug grin on his face..

"she still loves me you know" Cris said defensively..

"Ok, good for you" John sipped his wine..

"Your wasting your time" Cris said between gritted teeth..

"Point taken but I mean shouldn't Natalie have a say in this, she isn't some kind of parting gift" John raised an eyebrow at Cris..

"You know nothing about her, ok...nothing...we have a history together" Cris said defensively..

"I like to live in the present " John grinned..

"don't get in my way John" Cris said warningly..

"You threatening me?" John asked with amusement as he looked at Cris, and Cris stood up quickly, so did John, they were just feet away from each other..

"I don't make threats, I make promises" Cris said sternly and John couldn't help but laugh, this kid was funny.."you think Im joking or something"

"Not at all Cris, and don't you worry about Natalie, I can handle myself pretty well" the guys stared at each other and Natalie came back in the room, she immediately felt tension, both guys looked at her, she gulped, she had no idea what she had just walked in on, she really didn't want to know.."its getting late don't you think, Cris"

"yeah, late..." he said as he looked at John and they both looked at Natalie who was standing there nervously.."we should probably go" he looked at John..

"I think your right" John looked at him then back at Natalie..

"Ok?" Natalie said nervously as she looked at the two of them, Cris walked over to her first, he stood nervously in front of her, she glanced at John then back at Cris..

"I really look forward to Wednesday" he said softly as he gave her a hug, she returned it cautiously, he pulled back and looked at John, faking a huge smile.."thanks for dinner"

"anytime" John walked over to Natalie.."we should do this again" all she could do was nod..."good night Natalie" he leaned in and kissed her cheek as she stood there frozen for a second, Cris already had the door open, John walked to it..

"goodnight you guys" she said nervously as the guys stepped out and closed the door..

"You wanna play, I can play too" Cris said to John as they stood by the door..

"i don't play games " John laughed sarcastically as he began walking away.."You have a good night Cris"

Natalie barely slept that night, her mind was racing, last night had been so uncomfortable and now sitting at her office staring at the case files in front of her she felt her eyes get sleepy and she began to doze off..

_The sound of the door opening made her eyes open and she smiled.."John what are you doing here" she began as he just looked at her and began making his way around her desk, she felt her voice get caught up in her throat, he took her by the arms and lifted her out of her seat, she felt weightless as he put her down on the desk, his eyes boring into hers..."John" was all that escaped as his lips crashed down on hers and he stepped between her legs, pushing her ass hard so that they were meshed together.._

His lips devoured hers, and his hands were so strong, she reached up to grab his long hair but her hands ran across short hair, she pulled back, she was looking at Cris, he was panting slightly..

"god Natalie" he rasped and before she could say another word he was kissing her passionately, she fought against him, he grabbed her wrists, holding them above her head with his hands..

"I always like a little bit of a struggle" she heard that familiar voice she looked up, it was John again, he was licking his lips as he held her hands.."You gonna be a good girl" he whispered in her ear and before she could answer a female voice did and John was across the room now, standing with that girl from the club, he was kissing her, touching her, Natalie felt sick..

"Im always a good girl for you Master" the girl moaned and Natalie watched as the room seemed to get smaller and smaller..

"You cant trust him Natalie, you could never trust him like you can trust me" she heard Cris's voice and she turned to the side, looking at Cris as the girls moans got louder, she shut her eyes tight, wanting to block all of it out.

A loud crash got her attention, she jumped, almost falling out of her seat as one of the new rookies stood at her door, now picking up files that had fallen from his hand..

"I am so sorry" he proceeded to apologize and Natalie sighed deep, it was only a dream, just a dream but it still stung like a fresh wound..

"no that's ok, what is all of this" she began as she got up and helped to grab the remaining files..

"The Commish wanted me to drop them off to you" he handed her the files.."oh and someone by the name of John McBain called, you must have been busy...here.." she felt her heart race, he had called, she looked at the number written on a piece of paper..

"ok thank you" she took the files from him and he left the room and she stared at the phone, wondering if she should call him back but before she could her phone rang, her cell phone, she jumped and looked at the caller ID, a lump formed in her throat as she answered.."hello Detective Buchanan"

"You know I forget sometimes that you are a detective" she heard Johns raspy voice..

"Hi John, by the way thanks again for last night" she said quickly, he cleared his throat..

"No problem, was wondering what your doing tonight" he asked, her hands began to shake, she thought of her dream which was looking more and more like a nightmare..

"Umm...tonight?" she began as images of that girl came into her head..

"You busy?"

"um...yeah...actually" she said low even though everything in her was screaming to see him again..

"Oh ok...i wanted to go over some information I found out about your sister but if your busy" his voice trailed off, her eyes got wide..

"you have information on Jess" she asked quickly..

"Yeah well I kind of wanted to go over it with you in person but your busy" he began..

"No, actually I will have a little bit of time tonight" she said quickly..

"I'll come by around 8, ok?"

"8? ok... um...8" she said a bit nervously..

"8 it is then, take it easy Natalie" he hung up and she stood there staring into her room, a knock snapped her out of her thought, she spun around..

"Cris" she said with shock as he stood there, a dozen roses in his hand, she looked at them, then at him..

"I was walking by the florist and I thought of you" he walked inside and handed her the bouquet, she was touched..

"cris you didn't have to do this" she began, he shook his head..

"I wanted to, I noticed your office was looking kind of plain the other day, I wanted to brighten it up" he smiled, she inhaled the scent of the flowers..

"well that is very sweet Cris, thank you, they are beautiful" she smiled nervously at him..

"Your welcome, well im heading off to the gallery, have a few minute last things to do, can I pick you up at 8 tomorrow?" he fidgeted with his hands some..

"yeah um... I was kind of thinking of taking my own car if that's ok" she began, he looked disappointed but he smiled through it..

"yeah...of course, whatever makes you happy Nat,...i will see you tomorrow then" he stood in front of her and she nodded her head as she held the flowers..

"Ok... see you then Cris" she said as he stood there for another second then he took off and she looked at the roses again, they were beautiful, she went on the hunt for a vase to put them in..

Natalie made her way home finally after a long exhausting day, she never did find that vase for the roses so she opted to take them home, it was a sweet gesture from Cris, it made her think of the old days when he use to surprise her with flowers all the time, she smiled as she turned the corner to her apartment and there he was again, John..


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

"You said 8, right?" she began as he looked at the flowers and smirked, she glanced at her watch, it was 7, she looked back at him, his eyes on the flowers...

"those are nice, someone is putting in overtime" he grinned and she quickly got out her keys as she neared the door..

"I guess im just popular these days" she said with a nervous laugh as she opened the door and they walked in.."I just have to get these in water" she made her way to the kitchen..

"Of course ,..you wouldn't want them to wilt or anything" John said with a laugh, Cris was being a child about this, it amused him..

Natalie ignored his statement as she took out a vase..."so do you want a drink or something, I think I only have some water" she began as he walked into the kitchen..

"I remember... I actually brought a few beers let me get them from my car" he left the kitchen quickly and she took the opportunity to run into her bedroom and quickly change out of her work clothes, she was nervous, she hated that he made her so nervous, he had been nothing but a gentleman but there was something behind his eyes, something she knew he was definitely capable of, and it scared the shit out of her as much as it excited her..

She heard the front door open and close.."Im just getting dressed, will be out in a minute" she called out as she ran into the bathroom and quickly fixed her hair, she felt like a school girl again, her heart was racing away, she did one last minute make up check and headed into the living room where John stood, two beers in hand.."Thanks" she said quickly as she took the beer then sat on the couch as she took a hearty sip, he sat down too, this time on the same couch and she stared straight forward not saying anything..

"so what was these plans you had for tonight or were you just trying to avoid me" he finally said bluntly, she almost choked on her beer, he shook his head.."avoiding me huh"

"No...im not avoiding you" she began and he reached out and brushed a piece of her hair from her face so he could see her better, she forgot to breath as she looked at him..

"what is it about me that scares you Natalie?" he leaned back and she gulped as she took in his perfect body, she looked away quick..

"nothing" she cleared her dry throat quickly..."Im just busy and didn't really have time..." she took a big sip.."but you said you have information on Jess, right" she began and his hand moved to hers as he removed the beer from it, his fingers lingered longer then necessary, he looked at her, she jumped up quickly.."yeah so about Jess"

He got up to and smiled.."Im not gonna bite , well..." he grinned and she laughed nervously, god she felt so stupid right now, she couldn't even act normal.."Lets play a game, shall we" she just looked at him..."ask me any question about myself that you want and I will answer honestly"

"I...I don't really have any questions" she reached for her beer, he stopped her, his hand on her arm..

"everyone has questions, I have some of my own" he looked at her.." like how come your eyes tell me one thing and yet your fighting it" his hand trailed down her arm and she sucked in a deep breath and quickly walked away from him..

"I really don't know what your talking about" she said quickly..

"Im talking about that,...right there, I think your scared of what your feeling, your not use to a real man, are you...cause you have been too busy playing with boys" she could feel him behind her, she could barely breathe..

"Im not scared of anything" she began and he spun her around quick, his body just barely touching hers, he pushed her chin up so she looked at him, she knew she looked like a scared child right about then...

"I wouldn't make you do anything you wouldn't want to do Natalie" his finger grazed her lips and she fought the urge to close her eyes at his touch..

"Its just...i don't really understand any of this, I feel...so.." her words trailed off as he brought his mouth to her ear..

"so out of control" he whispered.."Its ok, cause I feel out of control sometimes too, especially since I first saw you, the urges I get, it goes all through my body, it makes me feel alive, and its been so long" she gasped at his words, she felt intoxicated by them, she felt drugged, he pulled back and looked at her, licking his lips seductively...

"This is silly, it is" she spun from him and walked across the room, she needed to be able to breathe, she felt so vulnerable around him, she never felt like that with anyone, it was aggravating..

"You spend your life looking, wanting, desiring but its just never right, you never feel complete, always something missing and then one day" he was behind her again but she didn't move.."and then one day it happens, like a lightning bolt coursing through your body, you cant stop it, it only makes gets worse until you are completely at its mercy, stripped of everything until all that is left is this feeling, overwhelming you, tearing at you" his voice went through her, she felt her entire body tingle, he came in front of her, his hand going to her face.."all I want Natalie, all I want is for that feeling to become a reality" his lips grazed hers, he tasted sweet, his tongue pushed slowly into her mouth, savoring her taste, she lost control, she feel into that kiss as if she needed it to breathe..

She felt him lift her, she felt like she was dreaming, she felt weightless again until her back hit the soft mattress of her bed and she sunk into it under his delicious weight, he slowly pulled back from her, his eyes bore into her, they seemed darker, he grinned and looked over her body, she had never felt so sexual in her life, there was a pounding at her door, she jumped, it got louder, she looked at John..

"Natalie open up,.. NATALIE!" she heard Rex's voice, her heart began to race, her eyes got wide.."Natalie its important" he yelled frantically, she jumped up now and raced to the door without a second thought, she barely had it opened before rex rushed in, Gigi with him, she remembered John was in the room..

"Jesus Natalie, didn't you hear me" rex said frantically and then it hit him, her appearance, he looked around.."is someone here" he began..

"No...no one is here, what...what is going on" she said breathless as she glanced at her open bedroom door, her heart racing, Rex looked at her then ran into her bedroom.."Rex...NO!" she called out as she ran in after him but no one was there, he spun around and looked at her, he had a crazy look in his eye...

"when was the last time you saw him Natalie, when!" he was scaring her, confusing her, she shook her head at him..

"who Rex" she said with confusion, Rex looked like he was losing his mind..

"damn It Natalie now is not the time for games, John... when did you see him!" he yelled, he was still looking around, John was gone..

"John? why, what the hell is going on Rex!" she finally yelled at him..

"a body Natalie, damn It they found a body" rex said damn near hysterical..

"what? Whose...where?" Natalie began to mumble with confusion and Rex grabbed her arms..

"its Tess Nat, she's... she's gone, she was murdered" he finished as she gasped, she felt like her heart had stopped beating as she stood there, looking at him...

"what...No...no...your wrong" she began to get frantic herself, nothing was making sense, she felt sick to her stomach, she looked to Gigi who was silently crying off to the side, she looked back at Rex.."Oh god no...no Rex...no..no no" she began to cry as Rex pulled her against him, trying to soothe her..

"Im sorry,...im so sorry Nat, I wanted to tell you before you found out through the media, they are all over this, you have to come with me, you need to come down to the station" he said quickly she pulled back from him, she couldn't believe what she was hearing, she looked back to her room, she felt like she was going crazy, had she just made up John being there in her place, where was he?

"The Station? What...i don't understand ..." she said with tears..

"You need to come with me, you need to tell Bo everything you know about him, everything about the club" Rex was scaring her as she looked at him, she had never seen him like this before..

"what...why..." she shook her head in confusion..

"cause her body was found at the club, that son of a bitch killed her and took off" Rex yelled and she felt her body go numb, she felt the blood rush out of her face..

"No...no Rex he wouldn't...he couldn't" she began to yell defensively.."he ...he was here"

"when?" Rex grabbed her arms and shook her slightly.."when damn it!"

"right before you got here" she didn't get to finish as Rex ran through her apartment checking everywhere..

"No one is here Nat, No one" rex yelled..

"but...but he was...he.." her voice trailed off, she felt like she was losing her mind as she looked at Rex..

"Nat you gotta pull it together, we have to go down to the station, and we have to go now" Rex grabbed her arm..."get her purse Gi" Rex yelled as they took a very confused and disoriented Natalie out of there..

Natalie felt a wave of emotions as she sat down at the station, Bo was asking her a million and one questions, none of them made sense, all she kept thinking was that there was no way John could of done this, he wouldn't of..

An officer came barging in the room, a frantic look on his face.."we got him in custody, were bringing him down for questioning" he said and Bo looked relieved, Natalie felt sick..

"Im telling you Bo, he did not do this" Natalie said defensively..

"you don't know that Natalie, no one knows what happened but it was done at his place of business and im gonna get answers and im going to get them now" Bo said sternly and Natalie heard a commotion, she turned and saw Vicki and Clint walk into the lobby, they looked devastated, her heart sank further as they both looked at her, and all she could do was shake her head as she cried, Jessica was dead, murdered, her body found in Johns club, it was a nightmare..

It seemed like hours as the Buchanan's now sat in Bo's office, the door closed while Bo spoke to the media, no one said a word, there was commotion when John was brought in, she saw a glimpse of him through the pulled down shades that were against the window, she felt sick all over again, they all sat and waited, sobs now became soft whimpers as Clint held Vicki tight in his arms.

Then the door opened and all eyes went on Bo, he looked tired, exhausted, physically drained..

"did he do it, did he admit to it, I will kill him!" Clint yelled out in anger only making Vicki start to sob yet again..

Bo shook his head as he ran his hand through it.."it wasn't him, he had an alibi" he began but Clint stood up, enraged..

"He's lying, He killed my baby girl!" he yelled..

"He was at Rodi's Clint, at the bar, we have a witness, please calm down" Natalie felt ill again as she looked at her Uncle.."Plus someone came forward, they saw Tess with a man" Bo looked like he may just throw up, the sobs were becoming loud and overwhelming now as Natalie sat there looking at her mom Vicki, she was hysterical..

"My baby was murdered, YOUR niece and your gonna take some crack head bartenders word for it!" Clint yelled.."The guy was running a fucking torture chamber right outside of town" Clint yelled loud..

"We found the guy ok" Bo yelled loud..."His name is Logan, there was a note with his body" Bo began as gasps were heard, it just kept getting worse and worse.."He killed himself, he left a written confession"

Natalie couldn't hear anymore, her heart couldn't bear it, she jumped up and ran out of the office as Bo called after her but she kept running until she hit into something, or better yet someone as the tears ran freely down her face..

"Nat, oh my god, I came as fast as I could,.. I am so sorry" Cris said as he wrapped his arms around her protectively and instead of fighting him she allowed him to as she cried uncontrollably..

"she's gone...Cris...she,...is...gone" she said in sobs as he held her against his chest and let her cry, but she felt eyes on her, and she immediately spun around and caught his blue eyes, she reacted instantly as she ran up to him.."did you know he was capable of this, DID YOU!" she screamed at John as she pounded her hands into his chest until Cris pulled her off of him.."he killed her, he killed my sister!" she screamed at John and Bo came running out, demanding John to leave the station and he did just that without a word..

"Nat its gonna be ok" Cris tried to soothe her, she pulled back from him..

"Ok? OK? NO Cris its not ever going to be ok, Jess is dead, she is DEAD!" she yelled with anger and guilt for not getting to her sister in time..

Natalie eventually made it home, back to her apartment much to the disapproval of her family and of Cris but she needed to be alone, she needed time to grieve for her sister, the one she tried to find, the one she tried to save..

She walked through her apartment, she felt numb as she stood in the living room, she felt a chill, her eyes went to the window, it was cracked open she walked to it fast, her heart racing as she put her hand on it, she wasn't imagining things, he was there and with that she grabbed her keys, she had to see John, she had to talk to him, she had to find out what the hell was happening!

Meanwhile back at the underground John walked through the mess the police had left, he stopped and looked down at the fresh blood still on the floor, he was angry, beyond pissed, this was his place of business and now two people were dead, everyone was looking at him as if he was responsible, he was beginning to regret coming to this town..

"FUCK!" John yelled as he threw a chair across the room and a loud noise was heard and he spun around to the front door of the dungeon and it began to open, he moved quickly and soon was at the door, he flung it open hard and came face to face with a terrified and stunned looking Natalie..

Natalie felt her heart race as he opened the door, he had a look in his eye, a look that scared her, she regretted going there, especially when she saw the police tape...

"You shouldn't be here Natalie" he said quickly..

"why are you here" she finally managed to say as she stood there frozen..

"i own this place" he said as she pushed her way past him and stopped as she saw the blood on the ground, she spun around quick.."Natalie" he tried to go over to her and she backed up from him..

"did you know this was going to happen" she said with tears as she looked at him..

"No" he shook his head..

"i want to believe you" she shook her head..

"You can believe me, I didn't know he was going to do this, I wouldn't of allowed it" he tried to near her again, she put her hand up and stopped him..

"were you in my apartment today" she asked as he looked at her.."WERE YOU!"

"Natalie why are you doing this" he moved towards her, she backed up, shaking her head..

"No...no,...don't come any closer... don't!, are you trying to make me feel like I am going crazy, is that it...is it!" she yelled as tears streamed down her face..

"I was at Rodi's" he began..

"LIAR!" she screamed at him..." you were there, at my place, I can still feel you on me"

"ok...alright, I was there ok" he said low and she shook her head at him..

"why are you doing this to me, why" she began to cry...

"Im not doing anything to you Natalie, I was there ok, you didn't imagine that, I left through the window when your brother showed up, the look on your face when you heard his voice was not that I would be welcomed there, so I took off, I ran to Rodi's, I didn't know about Jess, I wouldn't of left you like that if I had heard" he began and she shook her head as she cried..

"you lied to my uncle, you lied to the cops, you said you were at Rodi's" she began to pace as she cried..

"Did you really want me to tell your family I was with you, do you think that would of gone over smoothly with them" she looked at him..

"I don't know,...I don't know anything anymore" she looked at the blood on the ground again..."I feel like im falling apart" she whispered through tears and she felt him come up behind her..

"You shouldn't be here Natalie" he touched her shoulder and she spun slowly to face him, a pathetic sight of make up running down her face..

"i don't even know where to go" the tears flowed and he put his arm around her.."I cant see my family, I cant, I should of got to her, I should of saved her"

"Natalie you didn't know this was going to happen" he began..

"I should of, im a fucking cop, I should of known!" she began to cry hysterically, he pulled her against him, she didn't fight him, she needed to feel safe..

"come with me Natalie" he began to lead her out of the place, she didn't even ask him where cause right now anywhere but there would be the right place, she just needed time, some time away from all this craziness..

Natalie jumped in his car with him and he began driving, she had no idea where he was taking her and honestly she didn't care, she felt drained, physically and emotionally exhausted and she wanted to just disappear.. She must of fallen asleep cause she was woken up by being lifted out of the car and her eyes opened slightly as she tried to look around, all she could see was trees..

"Shhhh, just go back to sleep Natalie, you will be safe here with me" she heard his voice, it was soothing, her eyes closed again and she drifted off to sleep..


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Natalie slept for what seemed like hours, she drifted in and out, her body so worked up that she literally felt as though she had no energy left but her eyes began to open, the events from the day hitting her like a Mac truck, she looked around, her eyes bloodshot and red, he was on the chair sleeping, she sat up and rubbed her face..

"want a drink" he said, his eyes still closed but he wasn't sleeping at all, she looked at him..

"I need to use the bathroom" she said low and he opened his eyes..

"second door on the left" he said as she got up and made her way through the house, she had no idea where she was, it looked like a cabin, at the moment she honestly didn't care..

She took a look at herself in the mirror, it was a horrible sight, she quickly began washing the runny makeup off her face, she heard a knock on the bathroom door, she instinctively jumped..

"Im gonna make some coffee" she heard his voice and she opened the door, he looked just as exhausted as her..

"where are we?" she asked as she looked at him..

"a cabin my brother owns just outside of Lanview" he took in the sight of her, it was a sorry one, she looked like she had just lost a fight, the light in her gone as she stood there.."Maybe you should lay back down"

"Im fine, laying down isn't helping the situation, I need to clear my head, I need to find out how this happened" no tears came out this time, he shook his head..

"Lets get some coffee in you then" he turned from the door but she stopped him, she grabbed his arm lightly..

"thank you" she said low and he looked at her, brushed a piece of hair from her face and behind her ear..

"Your welcome" he turned to walk away but she didn't let go of his arm, he stopped and looked at her..

"Please don't leave me" she didn't care that her voice seemed pleading or begging, she needed something, something to take away what she was feeling, she needed him..

He could see the look in her eye and for the first time it caught him off guard as he looked at her.."Coffee will help" he removed her hand from him softly..

"I don't want coffee" the tears were coming again and she didn't care..

"Natalie listen, you've had a traumatic event happen, you need" he began and she grabbed both his arms..

"I know what I need damn it" she leaned up fast and kissed him hard, he pulled back from her.."Oh god your disgusted with me" she said with tears, she felt mortified, she turned her back to him and began to cry, she was losing it..

"disgusted with you?" he spun her around, making her look at him.."No, not disgusted at all but Natalie right now your not thinking straight" he began and she couldn't help but laugh through tears as she pushed past him..

"fuck you, ok...John fuck you, all of a sudden you know what I need" she said with hysterical tears and he grabbed her arm again.."No.. don't fucking touch me ok" she yanked her arm back and kept walking, he followed and grabbed her arm again, spinning her roughly now so she was facing..

"what do you want from me Natalie huh,...what... you want me to fuck you, is that what you want, you think it Is going to make all of this go away" he began to yell and she just cried..

"I want this feeling to go away damn it, I don't want to feel this, OK, just get out of my fucking face, im tired of your games, im tired of it all" she yelled and stormed away from him and into the living room where he caught up with her..

"Your angry ok, I get that but this isn't going to bring her back" he began and all she could think to do was slap him, and she did, hard, he wasn't expecting it, he stumbled some as his hand went to his face..

"don't you fucking talk to me like that, DONT!, im tired of everyone telling me what I need, im tired of it! She yelled with tears streaming down her face and within seconds he was right in front of her, his lips crashing down on hers in a rough, passionate driven kiss that she felt all the way down to her toes..

She yanked forcefully at his shirt as his mouth devoured hers, she needed this, she needed to forget about everything, he pulled back quickly, yanking his shirt off in a second as he looked at her, his eyes drowning in desire as he grabbed at her shirt, almost tearing it from her body as he threw it across the room and his mouth went to her neck in a series of small bites that had her moaning in a mix of pain and pleasure..

He lifted her roughly by her ass as her legs wrapped around him, and she felt her back hit the wall, she tugged at his long hair causing a low growl to leave his lips as he bit down on her neck, his hands roughly cupping her breasts now and yanking her bra down as his mouth encases one of her rigid nipples and she cried out into the room..She could feel his desire pressing between her legs, he was so hard as he pressed against her, she felt a rush of fluid between her legs as he switched to her other nipple, she couldn't take anymore, she need him now..

"I need you, I need you now" she moaned desperately as her hands went between them and she grabbed at his belt, and he was now putting her shaky legs on the ground as he pulled on his belt and she yanked down her jeans as she stared at him, his cock jutting out proudly, hard and thick as his pants hit the floor and she gasped at the size, his eyes were focused, he seemed like a machine, her mouth attacked his again and his hard flesh meshed with her soft skin, she let out a moan as the contact was made..

Her hands reached were they could, this was happening fast and rough, just what she needed, she felt his hands come under her ass, grabbing her hard as she winced slightly and then he was lifting her again, she couldn't believe how strong he was, his muscles bulged against her, and her back slammed into the hard wall again as his cock separated her folds with precision..

He didn't give her time to register as he plunged his entire length into her warm, tight wet core, he pulled his mouth from her, groaning into the air at the feel of how tight she was on him, causing him some pain as she encased him completely, he used his one hand to grab her wrists, shoving them above her head and against the wall as his other hand dug into her ass as his cock plunged in and out of her repeatedly until she was nothing but a screaming mess, her fluids now running freely against his cock and his balls, filling the room with the sound of sex as he slammed his way into her tight quarters..

The groans got louder, she pulsated around him, milking his engorged cock, it made his eyes go into the back of his head as he devoured her mouth again, capturing her moans, one by one, she squeezed her legs tighter around his waist, cutting off his circulation as he ground his entire length inside her, she was biting him now, his lips, his tongue, he bit back as her body shook and vibrated against him, he couldn't hold on, he was at his breaking point, she spasm-ed one last time on him, it was his undoing, he pushed her harder into the wall, meshing his body tightly against hers as her body forced his to drain inside her, he didn't hold back his sounds as he growled at every jolt of his pulsating cock, his mouth still on hers, now slowly devouring her as her rigid frame began to loosen against him, and his thighs and ass burnt..

With shaky legs he brought them to the couch, laying her still shaking body on it as he wiped the sweat from his brow as he looked at her, she looked drained, he knew he was spent, she pulled a small blanket from the top of the couch, covering her body as he stood there, no one saying anything as she tried to accept what had just taken place..

"I'd like that coffee now" she finally said as he nodded as he grabbed his pants and made his way into the kitchen, and she just laid there, her body still reeling from what could only be explained as the hottest sexual experience she had ever had...

By the time the coffee was done and he made his way back in the living room, she was dressed and sitting on the couch, she had tears in her eyes, his body stiffened as he held the coffee cups..

"I didn't hurt you, did i" he suddenly felt guilt wash over him as he looked at her, she shook her head and wiped her eyes..

"No" she said with a tear filled laugh as she grabbed the coffee cup with a shaky hand and he took a seat next to her.."I just know what this week is going to be like, I just don't know how to prepare myself" she sipped the hot coffee, he did the same, not really knowing what to say to her..

"I can go with you" he said low and she looked at him, shaking her head..

"I don't think that would be a very good idea, considering" she put down her coffee cup and ran her hand over her face..

"Im sorry about your sister, I really am" he said low and she looked at him..

"Me too...me too" she said low as she stared out into the room..

Later on that day he had driven her back to her place, it was an uncomfortable ride, no one really said anything but she knew she couldn't hide out there forever , what she wasn't expecting was to see Rex in his car as they pulled up, she froze slightly and looked at John, Rex was already getting out of his car and storming his way over, Natalie jumped out too..

"where the hell have you been" Rex yelled then he looked at John who was still in the car..

"John just go" she said quickly and Rex ran up to his window..

"Piece of shit what did you do... HUH... first you get Jess killed and now your working on my sister, get out of the car you fucking coward!" Rex yelled as he hit the window and Natalie ran over to him, grabbing him..

"stop it rex, just stop!" she yelled as John began to get out.."No...John just go, ok... please!" she yelled and he seemed to contemplate it but then he drove off with Rex still yelling and screaming..

"what the hell is wrong with you, are you trying to get yourself killed, are you!" Rex yelled at her..

"He didn't kill Jess, he had nothing to do with it Rex" she yelled and Rex laughed sarcastically..

"Oh yeah, the guy owns a fucking dungeon Nat, he fucking tortures people!" he yelled as he paced in anger..

"its not like that Rex" she began defensively and he looked at her..

"Oh my god, you fucked him...you let that piece of shit touch you, didn't you!" Rex yelled and Natalie spun around, she wasn't going to do this now, not now, not after everything.."don't walk away from me" Rex grabbed her arm, spinning her around to face him, she slapped him, she slapped him hard right across the face, he stumbled back..

"Leave me alone Rex, not now, NOT NOW!" she yelled as she stormed into her apartment, leaving him out there in the parking lot by himself..

Meanwhile John made his way to the dungeon, he was trying to figure out how he was going to clean up this mess he called his life and fix everything, for the first time in his life he felt confused, like he was doing more harm then good, he pulled up to the underground and immediately noticed the door wide open,he jumped out of his car and raced inside only to see it wasn't empty, Cris stood there looking around, spinning and making eye contact with him as soon as he entered..

"what the fuck are you doing in here" John yelled and Cris just walked up to him..

"You happy now you sick fucking prick" Cris yelled as he got closer..

"You need to get the fuck out of here" John gritted his teeth as he looked at this punk..

"I wont let you hurt her, I will kill you first" Cris spat out venomously.

"Get out of my face" John walked past him but Cris grabbed his arm, John spun around and got in his face.."You best be getting your hands off of me boy"

"You are a fucking pathetic joke" Cris let go of him.."you really think Natalie is going to buy all of this crap, you killed her sister you sick son of a bitch!" Cris went to hit him but John has FBI training, he dodged it and pinned Cris on the table, his hand behind his back as he leaned into his ear..

"You stay the fuck away from me, do you hear me, you have no idea who you are messing with" John let go of him roughly..

"You stay away from Natalie, you stay away or I swear to god!" Cris yelled as he took off and John grabbed a chair from the floor and swung it across the room and it slammed into the wall, leaving a hole..

He felt his blood boil, he was angry, so angry , he grabbed another chair, then another as he threw them around in a rage, he was tearing the place apart, breaking stuff left and right as he yelled out and cursed everything and everyone..

He grabbed one last chair and threw it against the door just as it opened, he was panting and sweating now..

"Nice to see you too brother" Michael said as he stood there shocked..

"what the hell are you doing here" John snapped, it had been years since he saw his brother, Caitlins funeral was the last time..

"I should ask you the same thing" Michael walked in, stepping over things as he looked around.."I saw the news, I had to come see for myself" Michael walked in more as John stood there..."what the fuck have you gotten yourself into now John"

"Michael you know what, its nice to see you again but this is definitely not a good time" john spun around for his office, he needed a drink..

"Oh I beg to differ Bro, I think this is the best time" Michael said as he followed John into the large office, and John poured himself a drink..

"Michael what do you want" John snapped, he definitely wasn't in the mood for his brothers speech right now..

"I don't hear from my brother for years, don't know if he is dead or alive, I hear he drops out of the FBI and then I see him on tv, and I see this ...this, what ever the hell this place is,..i think I have a right to be here" Michael said sternly as John took a heavy sip and looked at him angrily..

"Im not your responsibility Michael, why don't you just go back to wherever you came from, I don't need anything from you, never have" John snapped as he finished off his glass and grabbed the bottle and Michael rushed over, grabbing the bottle from him..

"You are out of control John and im not going anywhere until you tell me what the hell has been going on with you" Michael held the bottle from John, it only pissed John off more..

"Give me the fucking bottle Mikey!" he yelled as he reached for it and Michael tossed it in a surprising move that sent the bottle and its contents shattering on the wall..

"NO!... I deserve fucking answers and im not leaving till I get them!" Michael yelled..

John sighed and ran his hand through his hair as he flopped into his chair.."I don't want to fight with you Michael"

"John...bro...im fucking worried about you, I drove from Atlantic City, straight here, Marcy is livid with me and I find you and...and your losing it man" Michael said with concern and John just looked at his brother..

"You didn't have to come all the way here Mikey, im fine" he said with a defeated tone and Michael shook his head...

"No your not, look at you, look at this place, I mean what the hell is this anyways?" Michael looked around mortified that his brother the FBI agent was reduced to this, he was scared for him..

"its a club Mikey" he said dryly as he leaned back in his chair..

Mikey just shook his head.."your all over the news John, they say a woman was killed here, a Buchanan at that, this is not good, do you know how powerful that family is, I hope you have a lawyer, a good lawyer, I can get you one"

"I didn't kill anyone Mikey, maybe you should pay better attention to detail, your a doctor isn't that what your suppose to do" John sighed heavily..

"I heard everything John, people are still holding you accountable for running this place, I mean Jesus john what the hell happened to you, one minute your an agent the next your a...a" Michael really didn't know how to finish that statement..

"Life changes, people change, listen Mikey its been a long day" he ran his hand over his face..

"John do you hear yourself, come on... I was worried about you before, but now... now your scaring me bro" he said with concern as he sat down on the couch and ran his hand through his short cropped hair.."Is this about Caitlin and Emily cause John I told you if you needed to talk, there was nothing you could of done" Michael began and John had had just about enough, he slammed his hand on the table hard..

"there was nothing I could of done Michael, what the hell are you smoking! Huh,...that was my fucking family, the one I was suppose to protect but my job got them killed OK, serving and protecting the public put my family in harms way, so im sorry for not mourning the way it would have been comfortable for you brother, im doing the best I fucking can, OK...i lost everything that night, EVERYTHING!" John yelled as he looked at his brother and he got up quick..

"John don't do this, talk to me, where are you going!" Michael yelled as John kept walking..

"I need some fucking air Michael, OK" John stormed out of there, he needed space, he needed time, it felt like his world was crashing down around him..


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

John was not having a good week at all, he barely went into Lanview now cause when he did he got looks and whispers, he felt like a damn outcast, like this was a damn witch hunt, even though he hadn't had his hand in the slaying of Jessica Buchanan he was being held just as responsible, and now his brother was in town, trying to help but John was beyond help..

"I wish you would of just talked to me John, I could of helped you through everything, we all loved Caitlin and Emily" John didn't want to hear anymore, he tried making peace with his demons and it was hard when it was constantly thrown in his face, his family was murdered and he couldn't stop it, hell the man wasn't even caught yet and John just coward away,he knew that, he had to do something or else he would of self destructed..

"Mikey, listen to me please,...your my brother and I love you but I am dealing with everything the best way I can, ok... and I really don't need any more psycho babble, not from you" he said as he thought back to the numerous visits he had with the top psychiatrist of the FBI, it was either that or lose his job, he choose to resign..

"But look at everything that has happened John, you've been spiraling out of control since their death, beating yourself up ain't going to bring them back or bring them justice" Michael said with concern as he looked at his brother,his own life was going to shit now, his wife Marcy was beyond pissed that he ran to help his brother, she didn't understand, no one would, that was his family, they were all they had , it had been like that since they were kids, since their parents were murdered, they only had each other..

"actually mikey for the first time in my life I feel free, ok...im in control of my own life now, I live by my rules, im getting by the way I can, the way that is the safest alternative" John said honestly cause before he got out of the FBI he was more of a hazard then a help, he was slowly losing it, he was being too rough, he was getting himself in trouble, he almost killed a man with his bare hands cause he looked at him wrong, this was definitely a lot safer then spending the rest of his life behind bars over a weird glance..

"but look what your doing man... I mean come on, your running a fucking dungeon, your masking your feelings with this crap, your unraveling at the seams"

"Im breathing Mikey... im living and im breathing, OK... I had my chance at a happy life, that's gone, this is what I have left to offer, take it or leave it" he raised his voice some..

Michael shook his head.."I cant help you if you wont help yourself John"

"I don't need help Mikey, I just need to be left alone"

The week went by like a blur, the funeral, the family gathering, it all felt like a nightmare, she felt as if she was in a dream state through it all, just going through the motions.. The Buchanan's were devastated and Bo was trying his best to keep their skeletons in the closet cause god forbid the media knew the truth about one of the Buchanan's, god forbid everyone found out that they weren't the perfect little family that they played out to be..

Rex and Natalie were talking a bit for now, she knew it was mainly for the purpose of support, cause he was mad at her, angry that she went to see John, her family didn't say much, but that is what Buchanan's did best, no one talked about the big purple elephant in the room cause if you didn't talk about it then it didn't exist.

She hadn't heard from John either, not that she expected to under the circumstances, not that she was even ready to see him anyways, cause she was confused as to what she felt and now after hearing all the horrific details of Jessica death, the underground scared her more then ever..

But it didn't change the fact that she thought of him often, she did, he was always there in the back of her mind, days had passed, almost a week and she wasn't being followed by media anymore, things were going back to normal, so to speak..

So Natalie went about her days like she would any other, she worked came home and fell asleep, trying to ignore the world around her even though the one person who seemed to be ignoring her now was the only person she wanted to see..So on this particular day she felt a boost of confidence, she would go see him, talk to him, figure out all these feelings she was having, so after work she got into her car and instead of heading home she headed to the one place she thought she would never go to again, the underground...

The place looked like a ghost town when she pulled up, it gave her an eery feeling and a knot in her stomach, she saw Johns car and she sucked in a deep breath, at least she would be able to talk to him without the distraction of other people around, she got out of her car and headed to the door, her heart racing away but as she neared it wasn't quiet inside, she heard music in the background, she cracked the door opened with a shaky hand, a gasp leaving her throat as she looked before her..

John,... butt ass naked John climbing on a table, but there was a girl under him, that same girl, she felt her heart stop for a second as she watched the scene unfold..The girl was completely naked, strapped to the table with leather bounding her hands and legs, he was on top of her, about to enter her, Natalie backed up, the door made a noise and John looked right at her as she took off running back to her car, she couldn't breathe as she fumbled with her keys, dropping them into the dirt..

"Natalie!" John called out from the door, dressed now in pants as he ran towards her, she grabbed her keys, she had to get out of there.."Damn it Natalie" he yelled again as he grabbed her arm and she yanked it back hard..

"don't you fucking touch me" she spat at him, she couldn't believe her eyes, she felt stupid, stupid for thinking that maybe just maybe they shared something, connected on a different level, how stupid of her to believe such lies..

"Natalie don't do this ok" he began as he looked at her, she was furious..

"I don't want to hear it, ok...i get it now...i totally get it" she opened her car door, he slammed it shut..

"what the fuck Natalie" he yelled and she spun and faced him now..

"what the fuck? Are you kidding me, here I am thinking... you know what, its not worth my breath" she snapped as she opened the car door again, he shut it once more..

"Just talk to me!" he yelled as he looked at her and she couldn't help but laugh..

"talk to you? TALK TO YOU? I got all the answers I need" she shook her head, totally ashamed of herself for even caring one ounce for him..

"I don't have time for this" he snapped at her and she laughed again..

"Oh apparently you don't have time" she said sarcastically as she shook her head..

"who are you to say shit to me, huh... think you have some kind of power over me" he yelled.."you knew who I was, what I was about, your not allowed to get mad!, I never promised you anything"

"Oh forgive me for getting pissed off SIR!, fuck you John, fucking waste of my time" she opened the car door again, this time he didn't stop her..

"Natalie come on" he said softer this time, she started her car.."why did you come here"

She stared at him.."I came here cause a small part of me thought, stupidly thought that maybe there was something between us and that what happened at the cabin wasn't just some random act, that what has happened over the past few weeks wasn't just my mind playing tricks on me" she said as honestly as she could...

"Im not good for you Natalie" he said low and she fought the tears that threatened to fall..

"great so now your just like everyone else, you know what I need.. great, stupid little me" tears flowed down her cheeks..

"its not like that Natalie, I thought...part of me thought I could be different with you,.. I cant... I am broken and if you stick around me, if you stick around me you will just be hurt, I care too much about you to hurt you" he looked at her sincerely, she wiped the tears from her face roughly..

"I find it funny that you don't want to hurt me yet your doing it right now..Go to hell John" she yelled as she sped off and he stood there and watched her drive off..

Natalie drove erratically, she couldn't think, she couldn't breathe, she went to the one place she knew she could find comfort..

She knocked on the door, tears streaming down her face.."Nat..Nat are you ok?" Cris said with concern as she wrapped her arms around him tight, almost collapsing if it wasn't for his strong arms on her..

"Please just make it go away Cris, make it go away" she cried hysterically..

Natalie awoke to the sun pouring in the room, she groaned as she rolled over , immediately seeing a naked Cris in bed next to her, she froze and began to panic, she wanted to cry but instead she slowly got up as to not wake him as she scrambled to get her clothes on..

"where you going Nat" Cris said as he sat up, looking at her confused as she snuck around..

"i um,...i gotta go" she began putting on her shoes, he sat up more now, watching her..

"Nat your more then welcome to stay, I was going to make you breakfast" he began, she shook her head..

"im sorry Cris,...this...this was wrong, I shouldn't of come here" she said with shame as she now stood up and so did he, wrapping the blanket around his body..

"come on Nat don't do this, we just had a wonderful night" he began as he neared her and she backed up more, shaking her head..

"It was a mistake Cris, I cant...i cant do this, I...i gotta go" she went for the door..

"its about him, right?" he called out and she froze for a second..."He doesn't care about you Natalie, the guy hurts people for a living, he is some sick sadistic freak who finds enjoyment in other peoples pain"

"This is nothing to do about him Cris, I shouldn't of came here" she went to the door, he ran to it, putting his hand on it..

"he is gonna hurt you, he doesn't care" he said with concern and she now looked at him..

"Thank you for being there cris, I appreciate it, I do... but I cant do this with you again, with everything that has happened I need time, space to figure out what I am doing with my life and how I am going to make it count" she said softly as her hand went to the door again...

"Im always here Nat, I will always be here when you need me" he moved his hand from the door and he touched her shoulder lightly.."but last night, last night wasn't a mistake, I would do it all over again even if I knew it meant watching you walk out this door like this" he leaned in and kissed her forehead, she was touched by his words but she had none in return and so she just left..

A few days later and she found herself at Rodi's, six empty beer bottles in front of her as she attempted a game of pool with one of the local patrons, he said his name was Ed, she honestly didn't care at the moment what his name was cause she was kicking his ass at the game, and they were both drunk and being care free..

Ed was a young guy around her age, from her beer goggles he looked attractive in a college preppy guy kind of way.. He said he was attending Lanview University studying Microbiology, he could of said rocket scientist, she didn't care, nothing really mattered anymore, her sister was dead, any chance of finding true happiness in the future was gone and her Uncle Bo had just put her on a temporary leave that morning cause yet again everyone thought they knew what was best for her..

So Ed and a few of his buddies all cheered her on as she drank back beer after beer..

"fuck the world!" she yelled with a drunken laugh as she hit the balls, missing badly.."Ooops" she laughed as she looked at the sad sight of the table..

"oh baby its ok, next time" Ed grinned as he lined up his shot and sunk the ball as she rolled her eyes..

"You cheat...cheater" she yelled drunkenly, almost falling down as Ed caught her, glancing at his friends quick..

"you know Natalie were about to head to a party, its a lot more fun then this place, what do you say you come with us"

"I don't party" she laughed and another one of the guys took her other arm, helping Ed to hold her up.."such a gentlemen" she smiled at them..

"well how about we just go and if you don't like it then I can bring you home, come on, it'll be fun" Ed smiled and she shrugged her shoulders..

"fine...lets get out of here, its boring me anyways" she said quickly as Mac came rushing over to her as he saw them about to leave..

"Hey Nat...why are you leaving so soon, I think I should call you a cab" he said with concern, he had been keeping a close eye on her all night, he was concerned and waiting for the right time to say something to her..

"Hey Mac" she said loud as she looked at him..

"sorry old man but were gonna be leaving" Ed said as he began walking Natalie closer to the door, Mac reacted by touching the guys shoulder..

"I don't think your going to be taking her anywhere" Mac said sternly and another one of the guys stood in front of him..

"why don't you worry about yourself old man, we have this under control, ain't that right Natalie" the guy said sarcastically..

"totally under control Mac" Natalie began to laugh..."Mac, paddy whack, give a dog a bone" she began to sing..

Mac shook his head.."Im sorry but she isn't going anywhere" he stood his ground with the young kids..

"Old man your ruining my buzz, now back off,...or" one of the guys began to say as he was cut off..

"or what? please enlighten me cause I would love to know what your going to do" Johns voice rang out and Natalie saw him through blurry vision, she sighed heavily..

"You want a piece of me" one of the bigger guys got in Johns face, john smiled..

"How about this, how about you let go of the lady and I will let you leave here in one piece" John said calmly and the guys started laughing..

"I think this fool is threatening me...is he threatening me" the guy laughed..

"I think so,...you think were scared of you pops" one guy nudged john in the chest but he didn't budge..

"you got 5 seconds to let go of her and leave" John said calmly, Mac was already backing off from the group.."5...4"

"Buzz off asshole, the girl stays with us" Ed finally spoke as Natalie continued to mumble incoherent words..

"3...2" John continued as he looked at the guys..

"Dude you better back the fuck off or" Ed yelled but he didn't get to finish off his sentence as Johns fist made direct contact with his forehead and he flew back, dropping Natalie on the ground as his friends began circling John..

"Oh now your gonna get it old man!" one of the guys yelled as he lunged for John but John quickly moved out of the way, grabbing the guy and slamming him down on the table, breaking his nose as the kid cried out, within a second another guy was charging at him, his fist hit John in the jaw but the second punch didn't make it so far cause John grabbed his arm and spun him around, immediately dislocating his shoulder as he screamed out in pain, the other guys backed up, not wanting the same fate for themselves..

"the bitch ain't worth this" the two guys left yelled as they ran out of there and Ed and his friend began stumbling away as John looked to Natalie who was desperately trying to get herself up, he grabbed her arm, helping her..

"Let go...LET GO!, I can do it myself" she yelled irately as Mac came rushing over, looking relieved..

"I wasn't going to let her go with them, im gonna call her a cab, if her family gets wind of this they will shut my place down for sure" Mac said quickly towards John..

"I was having fun damn it" Natalie yelled drunkenly.

"I will get her home Mac" John said to Mac as he grabbed her arm roughly..

"I don't know John, ive been hearing things" Mac said with concern and John looked at him..

"Listen you can believe what you want Mac but I wouldn't hurt her, I want to get her home as safely as you do" John said sincerely and Mac backed off with a nod of his head, at least one person in this town didn't look at him like he was a freak..

"Owww...stop it...stop it" Natalie yelled out dramatically but John kept on dragging her outside of Rodi's.."Let...go...of me" she yanked her arm back hard and fell right on her ass with a thud..

"Your being really stupid Natalie, what the hell were you thinking" John finally let his anger out, he had been so pumped up with adrenaline that it took a few seconds for him to realize what kind of trouble she could of gotten herself into, and he wasn't even going to stop at Rodi's , it was a last minute decision that he was grateful for now, he tried to help her up again, she refused his help.."you could have been raped by those assholes"

"what is it any of your business what I do,...trying to play the god damn hero, I didn't ask you to help me" she stumbled to her feet as she looked at him..

"You wanna get yourself killed, is that it" he yelled in frustration..

"Oh like your club helped to kill my sister, you bastard!" she attempted to hit him but missed, and almost fell again but he caught her.."let go"

"No, now were doing this my way" John said quickly as he picked her up, throwing her over his shoulder as she kicked at him and hit his back.."Your just making this harder on yourself" he got her to his car and with his free hand he opened the door and flopped her in the seat, immediately latching the seat belt on her so she couldn't get out..

"Fuck you, im a grown ass woman! You cant do this" she yelled as she kicked and flung her arms at him..

"Then start acting like it!" he slammed the car door and made his way around as she tried to desperately get the seat belt off..

"Your kidnapping me,...help...someone help me!" she began to scream out, he just shook his head..

"Go right ahead and scream all you want, your making yourself look like a fool and you'll be lucky if no one sends a picture to your family with you acting like this" he said sternly and she calmed down a bit..."Finally...damn it" he began to drive, she reached over and slapped him in the face, it wasn't a straight on slap, kind of a graze.."Are you crazy, your gonna get us both killed" he yelled as he swerved some..

"Asshole" she yelled..."stop this car...now"

"You can yell all you want, im bringing you home" he continued to drive and she finally huffed, exhausted from the struggle.."Your lucky I came when I did"

"I can take care of myself" she snapped..

He laughed sarcastically.."Looked like you were doing a great job at that, maybe they could of used you as a fucking train tonight, not raped once but repeatedly"

She let his words sink in, she felt ill.."Im gonna be sick" he looked at her, she looked green, he immediately stopped the car, she opened the door and hung out of it, the seat belt holding her in as she puked onto the ground.."I think im done" she began to sit back in then leaned back out the door.."nope" she said as she puked again and he held her hair back from her face until she was emptied.."i need a shower" she said as she sat back up, she felt horrible, her head now pounding , the smell of vomit in the air, John nearly got sick himself as he drove off to her apartment fast..


End file.
